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Tuesday, 25 May 2010

The Third Age...


This is for Saz and it concerns the Third Age: From Good Old Auntie Beeb, "The name comes from the supposed division of people's lives into four stages. The first is young people's years in full-time education; the second when financial independence is tempered by family and other commitments.

Get to the third and you are still independent but without such ties - for most of us, this means retirement. The fourth is a state of relative dependency, such as being in a care home". Sweet joy!

And thusly, when we are approaching our Third Age, when we are supposedly coming up to and over the hill of 50, as GJ and I now are... Our baby bird, Grizz, may be about to flee the nest for another nest up in an Ivory Tower in one of the nearby cities. We are hopeful of paying off our mortgage in the next eight years. We are enjoying some of our liberty, now freed from some of the sweet burden (never all!) of child-rearing and child-minding... We're going out more. We've cut some of the ties that bind us to having to be in the same place at some time, in order to accommodate Grizzles...

And he's more independent. He has his own car. We give him some of our income, and will continue to do so while he is at College, (and probably beyond!) He has a lovely girlfriend who he enjoys spending time with. He has a wide and wild circle of friends and fiends. He can use the oven. Operate a tin-opener. Cook simple and delicious meals. Use the washing machine. Cope with the iron. Keep himself clean. I never see him wash up a dish, however!

So, in spite of the fact that I'm a little worried about my job, given that the Coalition government wishes in all likelihood to do away with us, I'm feeling that some of this time ahead of us is for us. Us. Me. Him.

Odd that.

Hence the motorbike, I think. Hence my Edwardian dressing table, safely ensconced in the garage until I can clear some space in my boudoir to accommodate it, and I can find a suitably antique boudoir chair to park my sizeable derriere on...

Hence the vintage ruby chip Edwardian ring I'm wearing in place of my mother's early 50's engagement ring, the pink (what else?!) ruby is flanked by two diamond chips, embellished by silver-grey platinum... Not ostentatious, but it's delicate and feminine. Qualities I envy in others, as in me they FAIL to manifest themselves!

I live in an Edwardian house, I'm just trying to find things in keeping with that tradition and style, without being a slave to the era...

I shan't be wearing a corset!

I've said it before to others in the past, "I'm spending my way through grief!"

It might not work for anyone else, but hey it's one of my coping mechanisms, to be sure.

See ya!



13 comments:

Chairman Bill said...

I sense, from lots of posts, a large dollop of empty nest syndrome.

saz said...

love this, thanks...and l think w share similar tastes....you would love my brown bedroom david dickinson furniture...

l can relate to the empty nest, just wishing mine hadnt hit me with a baseball bat outta the blue...now l wait while #2 child spread his wings,leavers day thursday and then two years of th form for me ot prepare myself for running solo...l'm scared please don't push or shove me..


luv you
saz x

Dumdad said...

Enjoy your (relative) freedom!

Reasons said...

Go Fina baby! A motor bike, really? Pour toi?! Now that would be impressive!

Moannie said...

Think I must be straddling the third and fourth ages...teeter tottering. Hmmm!

You are doing fine, live each day and look forward to the next without too much turning back.
What fun to bring your Edwardian house back to life...especially now when brown furniture is so inexpensive. Soon it will be back in fashion as the reality of chipboard turns people off from the cheap and tacky. Saz would tell you how I have clung to the past when all about me were breaking up breakfronts, throwing out tipup tables and sneering out veneers.

slommler said...

I hear ya! I remember my retail therapy involved a new hot tub and a large screen television. I felt somewhat better.
We are in the third stage too and enjoying every minute of it. Though the stresses of earning a income still follow us day to day.
We grin and bear it.
Hugs
SueAnn

Jewels said...

Of course you're feminine! You'll like pink dontcha?

Seriously. Sometimes someone just needs to tell you that you did a lovely job raising your family (my step-son has no hope of ever operating an oven), and that everything is going to be ok. Which it is.

French Fancy said...

Despite you putting yourself down like usual I think this is a post of optimism. I can remember a few posts from the past when Grizz was not so capable and you were despairing of him in a motherly sort of way. Now he sounds like he has lifted some of this worry away. Just go and enjoy spending and buying these new things - you deserve it. You work hard and must get some fun out of it (and don't be silly - you are very feminine)

starvation diet said...

It sounds from your description that the third age is the best one. Second sounds bum but I kind of am enjoying it most of the time.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Whatever works for you!!! Do it!!! I think there's nothing like a little shopping to lift the spirits!! Love that! ~Janine XO

Marilynne said...

You are only beginning one of the best times of your life. While youth and glamor flee, independence and freedom take their place. It's a wonderful time. Enjoy it.

sensibilia said...

Yes, life begins at fifty.

starvation diet said...

Hi,

Just added a link from my blog to yours cause I think its fab. I'm trying to grow numbers of visitors to mine at the mo so any chance of adding a link to me here?

Thanks,
Beth

Something I wrote earlier...

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