They say a week is a long time in politics...
It feels like I've been living through some long weeks of late.
I know I'm not the only one, as that's what others have been saying all around me since the start of the year.
How about you?
I said on Friday that I was knackered - In other words, cream-crackered, tired out, plum tuckered, shattered, drained, emotionally exhausted.
...I think it's because I'm finding the process of leaving one job this month, while trying since October to make myself indispensable in another post; At the same time, I'm attempting to write bids for the funding of said post, while also aiming to keep my new and very dear colleagues afloat; All this whilst undergoing training as a therapeutic counsellor, having to find a voluntary placement in a GP Surgery as a trainee counsellor, whilst simultaneously completing all the due assignments of said coursework correctly.
All of this is doing my head clean in.
...This, and starting Group Therapy, as a further requirement of the course, while undergoing supervision of my clinical practice with clients, obviously, and waiting to be matched to a suitable supervisor.
I didn't say I was complaining, did I?
And yet sometimes I get to feeling as if a wheel is coming off the wagon...
For me, it's probably down to having to open out the very core of myself to others, after sitting with it hidden safely away, as if inside the furled petals of a particularly recalcitrant flower.
The requirement to expose what has kept you going for so long, that which you have coped with, suppressed, stifled, quietened - Revealing to others the strategies and ruses that have kept me together for 47 years on this planet...
Rightly, or wrongly, it's difficult and discombobulating...
And being knackered is also about worrying whether I am going to be able to put all the pieces back together again, so I can be 'Adult' enough to offer therapy to other folk in need, when I do succeed in obtaining a blinkin' placement at a doctor's surgery!
Does anyone know of anywhere that might take a trainee counsellor - Nice smiles, only slightly used, dinted and sullied. One careful owner?!