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Sunday, 19 April 2009

The Butler and The Bagman and Blogging

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From the pen of the wonderful and the beautiful Butler and Bagman Chronicles comes this,

"... The question I would ask is, by definition, unanswerable -- the question is, "Have you ever wanted to blog about something but dared not?" I suppose it could be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" but answering yes and then blogging about it would be, logically, impossible. So you don't need to answer".

I do think about this quite a bit, dear Sirs.

And my fingers hover over the keys, waiting for the Eternal Muse to arrive for her brief, fragrant, shallow-breathing, visit.

As I sift and view each thought for aptness for Blogworld... I sieve memories, like flour for bread-making.

Calendar Rolodex Swap Pictures, Images and Photos

Memoirs come, deep and portentous... I flick through them, like cards in a Rolodex, turning down a corner on a card, making them dog-eared, much like the pages of my most loved books.

Dog Eared Books sign Pictures, Images and Photos

Selecting...

Downloading...

Enjoying...

...And inevitably tucking others back under the pillow.

For some other time.
Some other Fhina...

Another life, perhaps.
Not mine.

Memoirs of a Geisha 10 Pictures, Images and Photos

29 comments:

Maternal Tales said...

I often want to write about people I know, but I can't because there is a possibility that they might read my blog. (Husband and Mother most and they provide a wealth of material). But there is also a brother who says he doesn't want to be mentioned and friends who have annoyed me...In fact my Mother stayed with me for a whole week and I was desperate to write about it but I felt I had writer's block because I couldn't really tell the truth. Instead I chose to write about other things...and that's my choice - to have told people about the blog in the first place. But then I think it's a fairly big part of what I'm doing so how can I not tell the people who are closest to me? It's never easy either way...

kapgaf said...

And sometimes, surely it is simply wisest to keep the lid on Pandora's box ?

Bisous d'une France grise et pluvieuse

jinksy said...

I'm horrified by the thought of dog eared pages...Are you REALLY one of those AWFUL crease-the-corner-corner-criminals?!AArrgghh...(slinks away into a darkened room to hide head under a pillow).

TOM FOOLERY said...

At times we've to learn to read between the lines methinks :) TFx

A Woman Of No Importance said...

MatTa: Of course, I am the infamous one who posted a blog about something (like you are describing) that was really bothering me - And then pulled it after I'd had some incredible advice offered - This vindicated my feelings totally, and these lovely people did make me feel far better about myself - Because we do tend to beat ourselves up quite a bit about our families and friends, and it would be fair to say that sometimes other people's behaviours ARE challenging - It isn't us/me! I have kept my blog pretty quiet. My OH can't be arsed to look, my dear cousin looked once and I would only have positives to say about him, and I gave the address to a really good friend, so she might re-acquaint herself with me after we'd been out of communication for a while... And that will be it... My best to you for achieving some release, MatTA... xx

kapgaf: Ca c'est tout vrai, ma chere k... Et le temps fait beau ici aujourd'hui... C'est la vie, non?! x

La jinkster: I am, my dahlink, I am!!! Do you still love me?! x

TF: You are always soooo wise, TF, you sweet little owl, you! xx

Leatherdykeuk said...

A though provoking entry. I wish I had some to share.

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

What beauty I always find here........spendid....
The way you see things is amazing Fhina :)

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Derrick said...

Hello Fhina,

There must be a million things that we could all say but choose discretion instead. Others may take the 'Publish and be Damned' approach. Each to his own.

findingmywingsinlife said...

I too find myself wishing to blog about certain things, it seems that my blog has become my own therapy. Although here recently, a family relative began following it- which makes it difficult to write about things you're not ready to face in real life just yet. However, having said that...I still write tons of "drafts" on my blogger to be able to go back and read for myself what I was thinking, it really helps me to put life into a better perspective.

I agree with kapgaf, no need to open Pandora if you don't have too. And TF is right, there are times when you have to learn to read between the lines.

By the way, you made me laugh whole heartedly with your comment on my blog Fhina!

lakeviewer said...

Writing, unlike talking, goes through additional filters, and edit buttons. Thank God, really. Otherwise, we'll all end up in jail, or worse.

Dedene said...

Heavens, I always risk posting very personal items on my blog. The only danger is probably embarrassing myself.
Lovely post.

Butler and Bagman said...

Great question, even if I did ask it myself -- and, a question we can only approach without falling in too deeply. I, too, try to be careful about people I know. I also avoid writing much about work since I would like to continue doing it and people have lost jobs for their facebooks, myspaces, and blogs. I can sometimes get a little closer to stuff I think but shouldn't write by having the Bagman / Butler dichotomy. Bagman can come close and then Butler can step in a defuse something. Of course we'd all love to read your dog eared drafts and blogs you've pulled. We don't dare post some things but love it when someone else does. LOL.

blognut said...

As you know, I've left quite a bit of my disturbing and mysterious inner-layers showing on my blog, and I elude to the existence of others.

Because of that, and not counting my husband who reads my blog almostly daily, only 2 non-bloggy people know about it, (and I suspect one other person found it on her own and I don't admit to caring what she thinks). I never thought I'd write some of the things I've written, or I wouldn't have told anyone other than my husband.

However, I no longer worry about what those non-bloggy people think of the things I write. You're either 'in' or you're 'out' and I am what I am, so if they read something they don't like, or that they find difficult to accept, I don't figure that's my problem because I've been truthful and did not write any of it with a desire to hurt them. It's my blog, right? I say, 'love me, love my blog!'

BTW, I love you, and I love your blog! Write whatever you want, whatever makes you happy. Tell secrets, or don't tell secrets, I'll be here either way. Hooked on Fhina, I am!

Bloggus
XO

Michelle said...

Hello dear Fhina, I had a whole blog post written and posted about something that I should have never written about or posted. After a few odd comments I deleted it. So, depending on what you want to say, sometimes its best left in your mind and fingers.

Hope your having a sensational SUNDAY!!!!

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

I just found your blog...so full of insight! I often hold back for fear of letting someone get too close more so than worry about what someone else would feel after reading. Writing gives pause as opposed to the quickness of the tongue.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Leatherdykeuk: I know you have lots of interesting stories to tell - but I'll bet you are saving them all up for another book, LD! x

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff...: You are so kind to me, Reggie girl... and your beauty leaves me speechless x

Derrick: That thought is always in the back of my mind, D, that if I were to share all, would I just see a bunch of readers and wonderful bloggeristas running off into the Ether, screaming!

findingmywingsinlife: Do you know, I am so dense, that I hadn't realised that you are also Rab and Clay - How mad is that, Sir!

I think much of what we write is relief and therapy comes from the fabulous responses and wise comments we receive, for which I am excessively grateful... It is true what you say, and there are some things I have written which may never get published here... A little like that old tradition of writing something down and burying it in order for it to be dealt with by Mother Earth and the Universe! And... How dare you laugh at my wardrobe, Sir! x

lakeviewer: I see myself being bustled out of the house into a waiting car, probably with flashing lights, with a blanket over my head, concealing my identity, Rosaria, 'tis true! x

Dedene: It's as I said to Derrick, though, Dedene... There are some potted shrimps of madness that I would be afraid to share here, although I am pretty much a 'What you see is what you get...' kind of gal! x

Butler and Bagman: It was a very difficult question, Sirs, and one that I haven't answered really... Although I think I am a pretty transparent and 'out there' kind of person - A little like Bagman, but without the sex ;), 'still waters run deep' and there are some things, as you say, particularly about current job and close, close family that will not make it here... Although Grizz does, for I do appreciate all the advice I get from more experienced parents of Teen Terrorists! Or people who were TTs like Suldog, and probably Bagman I would guess, Sir! Thank you, Sirs, for the excellent and intelligent question!

Bloggus Nuttus: You have no 'disturbing and mysterious inner-layers' showing on your blog, dahlink... I feel very safe amongst all of you and I'm not sure it if I could share it with anyone at work - Well, I could - One friend who is leaving the office later this year, and one who is a wonderful writer I've known for years, whom I would trust with my life...

I like how you say, 'I am what I am', that is so brave and so right, BN... And as for 'hooked on Fhina' - That's a two way hook, and the other spur is in my cheek - You can tell I know nothing about fishing, can't you, Bloggus, but I think I am wise enough to know good, solid gold friends when I meet 'em, and you are the real deal, my girl! I value what you do every day. xxooxx

Michelle: You are always so good and so right, Michelle! Some things are better left unsaid and unwritten, n'est-ce pas? And maybe occasionally putting them 'out there' but not posting them, enables us to get them off our chests and deflate the problems that have led to the words...I have had a lovely sunny day here today, M - I hope you are sitting (or running) in shafts of sunlight today, my GF! xox

Alicia @ boylerpf: Thank you for stopping by, Alicia - What a very pretty name you have there... And I love what you said with this, "Writing gives pause as opposed to the quickness of the tongue". Fabulous!

Woman in a Window said...

What startling images to accompany this post, especially that last one. Lays an imprint as I just wrote a Geesha (not Geisha, post.)

Yes, we have to choose carefully. I wonder how many times I cross my own line.

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

Yes I think you probably know I'm with you entirely on this one. It's a powerful thing the blogersphere and not to be tampered with too much.

Lola said...

I'd like to blog more about my son, but I always decide to hide him away from the dangers of exposure. He's a child, and they need all the protection they can get.

Your posts are always so wonderful Fhina, so poetic. So stimulating.

Ciao

A Woman Of No Importance said...

From Heart Braja: Fhina, darling, I love that you've retained mystery in writing; I can appreciate people wanting to express themselves fully, but also love that amongst those are stars like you who want to support the "less is more" theory to writing and revelation...good on you :)
xxx

Bless you Braja - I have done so wholly without conscience - I never intend to be mysterious - Maybe that is La Fhina - I am way too transparent as a person... Heart on my sleeve et tout ca...

And you, my dahlink calling me a star?! You're having a giraffe, as they say in Cockney! (*laugh*)! Love you dearly x

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Woman in a Window: Thank you, darling - I tried to get a matched set of images - They are very beautiful, non? I just don't like how Blogger nibbles at the edges so much! I love the Geisha image - And shall come looking for your post on that enchanting, and yet challenging subject, non? Love x

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3: That is very profound, my dahlink, and so right - How wonderful and clever you are, Jo xx

Lola: And I think it is correct, to only blog about what we feel wholly comfortable with - There are things with Grizz that are more personal, more challenging, and others that I love to seek advice on - Because our readership of dahlinks is just so experienced and so clever - Only you, dear Lola, will know what is right to share about your delightful tot, and what not, and that is how it should be, non?! You said a very lovely thing about me, and I am holding it in my heart, to see me through the week - Grazie, bella! x

muthu said...

a hearty post.......

A Woman Of No Importance said...

muthu: Heartily!

Diane said...

I will read whatever you choose to write, dear friend. Maybe (some of) the other stuff can be saved for over a cup of tea one day... I really think Bloggus Nuttus and I are going to have to come visit (I haven't told her yet, but I know she'll agree)... xo

Jewels said...

I often want to write about work... but these details really have no place on my blog. I try to review my post before posting, keeping the following things in mind...
1. Will this possibly cause hurt to someone, even unintentionally?
2. Could details in this post cause trouble in my professional life or hurt my chances for success?
3. Does this post reflect the real me, or am I just on a rant from anger that will pass soon?

Remember.. the internet is forever, and you never know who will stumble upon your blog.

French Fancy said...

I always do my blog posts with the thought that Mr FF might come and see them and will he be upset at what I've put. That tempers my natural strain of indiscretion and makes me slightly paranoid that I am revealing too much.

Sorry that I've not commented on some of your recent posts. I just can't keep up with you Fhina but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy my visit when I do arrive.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Diane: And you know that I would welcome seeing both you and Bloggus, and that my arms would be open, and big enough to hold both of you at once - I'd be so excited! Take care, dahlink Diane - Much love, xxx

Jewels: "Remember.. the internet is forever, and you never know who will stumble upon your blog". Wiser than the wisest, wise thing, Jewels - Merci bien! x


FF: I am so sorry, darling - I sort of go by the 'rules' I once read someplace I can't now remember admittedly, which mention blogging every day... I don't know how long I can keep it up now with work and so on, and I don't want to leave anyone behind - I know I get frustrated when I can't read as much of other blogs, like yours, as I'd like...

I do post, as you say, thinking would I mind if my OH stumbled on it... So that's probably a reasonable censor mechanism in itself! x

carma said...

The first mistake I made was telling my parents about my blog- that eliminated a tremendous amount of material right there!! Now only a cousin and close friend are the only other people I know personally who know about my blog. I always need to remind my husband not to mention the blog to anyone we know! If I was to do it over, I would not have told a soul (that I know personally)

The Things We Carried said...

I have so wanted to, and find myself old enough to fear black and white written in my own hand, or type! Forever!

Something I wrote earlier...

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