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Saturday, 18 April 2009

That Makes Me Soooooooooooooo Angry!

She Hulk Pictures, Images and Photos

Following on from our (almost) Twenty Questions Incredible Journey of late, mes bloggy sarsaparillas, I am turning to Artist Unplugged's great question, "What makes you angry?" Thank you, precious artist, petal -- That one does the most wonderful Zentangles, and other very wonderful art, inbetween precious slices of her life, and would you believe that occasionally her sweet bulldog, Apollo, blogs like a bloggy pro!

the hulk sentry Pictures, Images and Photos

I have been giving some thought to this, and I even dreamed about it last night - I need to start keeping a notepad by the side of my bed to record my thoughts, which vanish like snowflakes in the Caribbean by morning...

You know by now that I value diversity in others, and try to recognise and celebrate everyone's strengths and talents, right?! So I won't repeat that.

You may know that I abhor bullying, or seeing anyone belittling another being... That gets my goat!

I am generally a pretty patient, easy-going kind of gal... Generally optimistic, 'though often anxious - A bit... Well, aren't we all? And I have broad shoulders... It takes quite a bit for me to finally lose my temper and 'blow'...

But I will wade in -- I can't help meself -- If I witness what I perceive to be injustice in life... I don't like people being picked on... This sometimes gets me into trouble, especially at work... I have a strong sense of right and wrong, and I am very liberal-minded... I think Ter Grizz has inherited the same kind of instincts, and this has occasionally got him into trouble at school... When the teacher's version of doling out justice, (however wrong or ill thought-out it may seem), has been challenged by himself...

She Hulk Sketch cover Pictures, Images and Photos

What has recently made me very angry... And yet I am trying to deal with it logically, researching how any good parent would react, attempting to keep my skittering feelings of fear and despair under wraps, is that just before Easter, I found out that Grizz had taken up smoking...

Spaiddy bird HULK!!!!! Pictures, Images and Photos

Smoking killed my mother -- Took her to her prematurely ash-scattered-state... I hated her hacking cough, which I could hear through two rooms in my childhood home. I abhorred how smoking held her so firmly in its seductive Fifties' Hollywood Romance grasp, that it robbed her of the chance to see her beloved grand-child, 'The Boy', grow beyond an endearing five years of age... I know that smoking earlier in life had also severely damaged my father's beautiful heart...

I would have bet/gambled my house on the fact that Grizz would never, ever take to the evil weed... He was vehemently anti-smoking while growing up... And now he is grown, more mature, still a man-child, but he is still my baby... I love him deeply, even though I may occasionally think of him as a Teen Terrorist!

The night I confronted him, I sat across from him on the sofa, rhyming through all my knowledge about the dangers, the health risks involved...

Finally I asked him, (most probably in an overly-melodramatic way... I iz la Fhina, after all...)

"Can you hear your poor mum's heart breaking?"

angry Pictures, Images and Photos He said he wanted to give up.

I know he did.

And I know that he's started again... 'Socially...'

I really don't and can't understand that...

I'm sorry.

And I'm angry...

But I'd never let him feel that...


Tomorrow, from the Bold and the Beautiful Butler and Bagman Chronicles comes this "... The question I would ask is, by definition, unanswerable -- the question is, "Have you ever wanted to blog about something but dared not?" I suppose it could be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" but answering yes and then blogging about it would be, logically, impossible. So you don't need to answer".

I'll try to be brief... I pwomise -- It's Sunday, after all!

Or else I shall scweam, and scweam until I make myself sick... And you too, no doubt...

A bientot mes chouettes!

zoas Incredible Hulk $3.00 per polyp Pictures, Images and Photos

19 comments:

Maternal Tales said...

Darling I'm you're first today. I can't believe it. I feel so privileged...although if I ramble on too long someone will surely get in before me. BUT, before I go - I just wanted to say I'm with you on the bullying thing - and belittling other people. I used to have a fantastic job (pre-children of course) but there was always a part of it I didn't like - the 'big' bosses putting the new people down. Why oh why? Hated it. As for teen terrorist smoking - try not to worry too much. It's probably just a phase - soemthign he has to try. My Fatehr smoked 80 a day and I hated it so much that I swore I would never smoke. I did of course - but just for a few years. Gave it up long ago. Had to try it though, just like I have to try everything!!

Have a fab day xxxx

ladyfi said...

So sorry to hear that your son has taken up smoking... I hope it's just a teen fad he's going through.

♥ Braja said...

Oh smoking...phfft...hopefully he'll grow out of it...as usual i love reading your posts :) You're prolific :)

Hit 40 said...

I don't turn green, but you can sure tell when I am pissed!!!

Sales folks are scared of me.

kapgaf said...

Ma chère FSI,

Short of supergluing his lips together, there is not much you can do to stop Grizz from smoking but I hope that Braja is right.

Injustice, any time, anywhere does it for me (this includes bad drivers - I am a shouter, swearer, maker of rude gestures and my Prince Grenouille is concerned that I will one day find myself la victime of road rage).

It comes as no surprise that you too are an admirer of Richmal (was anyone else ever given that first name?), you are, après tout, a woman of impeccable taste.

Bisous tout plein.

Derrick said...

Hi Fhina,

It's true there are some folks who have sufficient willpower to start and stop smoking at the click of a switch (is that a mixed doodaah thingy?)! I have smoked the odd cig or cigar meself but could never enjoy it enough to want to take it up! Buy him some patches.

shabby girl said...

Oh man. That's a toughie. Will they listen, will they pretend to listen? I remind my son that his Grammie is on oxygen 24/7, and a simple cold will go into pneumonia at the drop of a hat. They never think it could happen to them.

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

Ugh smoking! He'll stop don't you worry, it's just a teen thing and it's better than some other teen behaviours/habits. Did it myself, am still angry as my dad has since a kid and still does. It is ruining his health, but back then they didn't know and your lad will realise soon enough I'm sure.

Bullying - don't even start me, right with you on that one.

Had a good catch up here today xxx

blognut said...

I got nuthin'! You know I smoke, right? Not a lot, but enough. I hate it, I think it's a vile habit, and I wish I had never started. I hope Grizz comes to his senses and stops before it 'takes' and becomes an addiction.

I hate that you have to worry, Fhina. But he has to quit because he wants to, not because someone else wants him to quit.

Love to you,
Bloggus
xo

Diane said...

Bless your heart... I'm with you on that one, love. Smoking killed my father and it will likely take my mother long before she's due to go. I hate it. And if Ryan ever did it, it would make me angry, too... and sad... disappointed... worried...

XOXO

Snowbrush said...

Smoking killed my mother too. I must confess that one of the things I really like about not having kids is knowing that I will never have a kid who smokes. I would be tempted to kill him myself.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I think I would be pretty angry too if I were to find out Amy was smoking. Hate it with a vengence to be honest.

Hope you manage to get through to him.

CJ xx

Comedy Goddess said...

I started smoking when I was a teen of 15, and stopped at 30 yrs old. I loved it and new it was bad for me, and now I practically heave when I smell it. I guess I outgrew it. I bet your son will too.

Plus, aren't they wildly expensive? How's he paying for them? You could stop his allowance...

Fragrant Liar said...

Sad to say that two of my four daughters smokes, and they all did at one time. They do quit from time to time, and maybe one of these days it will be permanently. I don't have any words of wisdom though. My parents smoked (but later quit and still live) so I never smoked. My kids all did. Maybe you have to be around it a lot for it to really sink in how horrible it is for your health. Who knows, but I hope your boy realizes it's never too late to quit and that he does just that.

Ribbon said...

Hello...
I'm an ex smoker and it is an addiction. May I suggest that you don't apply to much pressure to your son and suggest that you offer him a practical solution.
There is a great book that you can buy for him titled "the easy way to stop smoking" written by Allen Carr (british).. I think he may have written a book designed for young people too. Google him... he's brilliant when it comes to smoking and using his method was how I stopped easily. It is silly to offer substitutes such as patches.
When young people smoke they really can't feel or imagine what the long term outcome is going to be. A little difficult to understand if you haven't had the experience.


best of luck and try not to waste too much time being cross

Ribbon

PS I have a post in my drafts about smoking. I'll let you know when I post it x

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Darling Woman of Great Importance.......I know it's terrible but try to look at it another way if you can. There are so many worse things that he could be doing right now. Is he a good student? Is he respectful to you? Does he stay out of trouble? What a terrible habit and so bad for your health, I know. But overall, is he a good boy?
I just can't tell you how heartwarming your sweet comments are to me. The bloodwork you asked me about? I had a malignant melanoma removed form inside my cheek about a month ago and am taking 6 weeks of oral chemotherapy. It could have been bad but I'm so thankful that they caught it early.
You wam my heart and your very honest post speaks to me.......
Oh do take care dear and......

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Sink said...

Another letting go.
There's the physical letting go as they move further and further from us in physical distance...to driving, to college, out on their own (hopefully).
Then there's this kind of letting go -- letting go as they truly live their own lives and do thinks over which we truly have no control, live a life that we would not choose for them.

This is the hard and seemingly unnatural part of letting go.

I hope Grizz comes around...I tend to think that he will. And when he does, you'll be there to help him.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

MatTa: As my first or as my last, you are always such a pleasure! Thank you for agreeing with me on bullying - I have just done a little bit of counselling with a friend on this subject, and bullying becomes all-encompassing and institutionalised, doesn't it - It's like manslaughter, its damages are so invidious...

I am trying not to obsess about the 'social' smoking - It is a constant irritation and upset, rather than anger, because that would get me nowhere with The Boy! I am just so anti- it myself, and I know it is all part of letting go of our children, and their making their own choices, and yet it doesn't make it any easier... x

ladyfi: I know, your children are such sweet ages, ladyfi... I notice that they are all 'at it', many of this i-Pod generation - Instant gratification, n'est-ce pas, and I guess it's the same thing with smoking... They know everything, they know all the risks, and yet they still persist... It;s sad to me... xx

♥ Braja: I know, you are so right, it's not as bad as other things he could be indulging in, but it came as such a shock as he was always so vehemently anti-it, Heart Braja...

As for prolific - Does that also mean 'potty?'! xxooxx

Hit 40: ! x

kapgaf: You are so right, I know, as is Beautiful Braja... Now, you've got me worrying about you and road rage! And I love your name for the OH, Prince Grenouille - A-dor-able! And Richmal is indeed a splendid name, I agree - And comic-book art - Even Caspar The Ghost used to mesmerize me as a child - I read comics before I went to sleep... My parents bought them for me as occasional treats! You've just brought that memoir back to me, chere kapgaf - bless you! Je t'embrasse x

Derrick: I hadn't thought of that - I guess he isn't sooo addicted, it's more the having a drink and having a smoke once you've had enough to drink at parties sort of habit... I need to bar him up into his room, locking his windows! But I won't...

Shabstress: It's like I mentioned above - These are kids who know all the risks but who are trying things out, I guess, and making risky decisions... You are so right when you say, 'They never think it could happen to them'. x

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3: I hope you are right, Jo... I know there is far worse he could be getting up to... I think I would know the signs if he were.

Thanks for catching up with me - I do that all the time now I am back at work - Using weekends to catch up on reading! xxx

Blogbus Nuttus: I know you are so right, me dahling... I can't make him - This has to be something he does for himself, and I am sad that you smoke too - although I do understand the nature of the addiction...and I have always been of the tenet with Himself that 'if you don't start, you never have to give up', just as you say... My love to you always, Fhi xxx

Diane: Thank you so much, Diane - it is so sad when we know we have lost loved ones through this addiction to over the counter drugs... I have all the emotions you have described, most of all disappointment and worry, I think, just as you would - I hope you never get here with Ryan, and that Bloggus never has to deal with this, or anything else, either xxooxx

Snowbrush: Such a lovely name... I know where you are coming from, dear Sir!

Crystal Jigsaw: I hope you never have to deal with it and Amy, dear CJ! I am trying the softly, softly approach at the mo' - We'll see if it works! x

CG: Thank you, that means loads to me, CJ - I hope we don't get anywhere into a 15 year smoking career with Grizz! He is rolling his own, it appears - Cost around £4 a month, around 6/7 dollars? We give him money to see friends, eat out, travel, that kind of thing, and he's good at saving, hence him having the readies to hand! We'd struggle with grounding him totally at 17... x

Fragrant Liar: It is very hard, n'est-ce pas? When all your daughters were smoking... I wondered about what you said, for that is why I never smoked and never wanted to - You said, " Maybe you have to be around it a lot for it to really sink in how horrible it is for your health". I do wonder...

Ribbon: You are very right, Ribbon, and that is the tack I am currently taking...

I didn't know Allen had written for Young People - I shall look out for that - Thanks so much! You are very wise, and I know that what you have said is wholly correct... x

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff: No, he isn't always respectful, no, he is a little lazy and we have to badger him to work hard at school - Yes, I agree, there are other vices he could be into - I don't think he is, thankfully...

I know you are also so right with what you say, and I am ever so grateful for it, dahlink... Overall, he is a good boy...

I am pleased that my little bits of comments make you smile, or be happy - You deserve every inch of that happiness, every day...and I am pleased you are on the mend, thank you so for telling me about what has happened with you...

Sink: So true, thank you so much for all that you said... You are so right, I am with him every, every step of the way... xox

carma said...

I am finally catching up on the posts I missed while away. So saddened to hear about Grizz and the smoking :-( Many members of my husband's family smoke- some of my nieces from their teens and it just makes me so sad thinking what they are doing to themselves. I am hoping the next generation will break the cycle. I tell my son that it is the equivalent of slowly killing yourself and I believe (hope) that he is taking it all in...

Something I wrote earlier...

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