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Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Were Old Times Good Times??!

We've got to that time of the year, have we not, mes bloggy budding snow-drops, where we re-assess where we're going and re-visit where we've been?

I'm going nowhere at the moment, to be honest, as we've been snowed into our little house on a very steep hill for days and days!

Anyhoo, back to the plot!

As we get older, don't you find that we've a tendency to look at the past with rose-coloured spectacles?

Old Times Were Good Times, that kind of thing?



How realistic is that as a motto to live by?

We've a dear, dear friend, a chap, who is always looking to the past, harking back to perceived past glories, imagining that if he'd only done this, e.g. dated and married GJ's sister, (perish the thought, each of them is as bad as the other!), then all his life would have turned out much better... He'd have been someone, done something with his life... (He's 48 this month).

In my, (always less than humble opinion. let's face it!), he chooses to stick with these backwards-facing thinking patterns because he's got nothing to lose (because it'll never happen, as it's in the past he cannot go back there...), and it's a get-out clause that permits him to remain in his 'stuck' behavioural patterns in the present... Living always in the past, as he does, he has an excuse for the present, as it's all pre-ordained, everything is doomed to failure in any case, no matter what he does...

He's managed to keep this up through a plethora of failed relationships, jobs and business decisions... He never accepts advice from us, but will take on really bad advice from others (whom he sees as successes in life, even 'though they're not all that they seem...) - All 'froth and no substance', 'all fur coat, no knickers' - That's another story!

I don't know why I'm putting all this out into the Universe on this occasion, mes bloggy loves, but it just seemed to fit with my love of the Son of Dave and this record... (I'm showing my age there, you see, talking about a record, rather than a track or a tune! There's no hope for me, you do know!)

And the fact is, you've got to keep moving, in my opinion... Move on. Embrace the new to a degree, and don't keep on about the negatives of the past.

You can't change the past. So don't choose to live in it. Don't let it continue to hurt and abuse you.

Je ne regrette rien, as the Little Sparrow sang...

I recently had cause to quote Gandhi at someone, well to paraphrase, and I said, (and I accept it's very easy for me to say this, and hard to live it! And I swear I'm not trying to sermonis/ze again...):

'Be the future you want to see...'

And, the day I wrote this, my funny little quote of the day muttered,

"Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you" - Satchel Paige

Serendipity, non?!

Ciao bellas. Mwah dahlinks!


And original painting above is 'The Long And Winding Road' by Kelley Stengele . SOURCE

10 comments:

Dumdad said...

Occasionally it's nice to look back on past glories, happy events etc but, in general, one should stride forward. I think one of many reasons why people get stuck in the past is because it seemed easier then somehow; to some degree it was: you were younger, had more energy, more curiosity etc.

I have a weakness for music from the 70s but that's because it ROCKED! But I like stuff from the 80s and 90s as well.

We can't change the past but we can change the future.

Bonne Année!

slommler said...

You are so right! Living in the past can shackle you for sure. It, as you say, does no good for you! Seize the day!!! The future will only be as bright as you make it.
Hugs
SueAnn

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

we werent cynical not wise, so more accepting methinks....

accepting?... moi non plus!!

au secours!! I need stuck at home in the snow ALONE time!!

Molly Potter said...

Funny...I mentioned people that live in the past in a recent blog. I see the past as a memory bank that I can learn from and dip into and enjoy...but other than that...there is only this moment that we are in...right now...yes?...and I try and make that as good as I can (but don't always manage of course!)

'be the change you want to see in the world' was the Ghandi I heard...same difference really!

Happy future to you lovely one
x

French Fancy said...

Embrace the future - what a perfect phrase with which to begin a new year, Fhi,

I keep muttering to myself WHIP - which is my shorthanded way of reminding myself about summoning will power.I'm trying to get this three stone off that has stubbornly clung to me since I gave us smoking 9 years ago.

Here's hoping

WHIP

xx

French Fancy said...

us? us? us?

Daft old typoed me!

Derrick said...

Hello Fhina,

The past can be either scarey or a refuge depending on your experiences. But we can't live in it. Grabbing the future with both hands might also seem a bit scarey for some though. Trying to be positive is the best attitude and I'm all for that!

The Things We Carried said...

Fabulous wisdom to live by!

Z said...

I've got a couple of friends who live in an unrealistic future, too. When they get the luck they deserve (not necessarily expecting to work for it), everything will be better. I can see that it might help one to remain optimistic, but I still prefer to live in the here and now.

Bagman and Butler said...

I was thinking something similar recently. I look back a lot in my blogs. I'm not sure it is rose colored glasses so much as the fact that the older I get the greater percentage of my brain is memory. I've got more channels on the rear-facing television. Or maybe I've just fallen into a habit of not looking forward.

Something I wrote earlier...

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