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Monday, 1 February 2010

On women...



I don't know what's happened to my blogging Mojo, mes bloggy loves... Nor my font, it seems. Double click on this beautiful picture from Berthe Morisot, if you wish to see more of the detail. This is one of my favourite images. Grizz looked just like that at that age.
Anyhoo, I seem to flit like a gaddy butterfly, from subject to subject, from write to wrong, these days...
I keep thinking of things to scribble about. My grand-mother, 'Nanna', My late father. Something funny someone's said... And I am cold and the words don't and won't come...
My son is eighteen in one week's time. Eighteen. 18. An adult. Legally. Legit.
And, by chance, pure chance, I've returned to my nemesis, Weight Watchers to watch my weight. Hopefully for it to fall and not balloon further, j'espere...
It's been a very long January month, hasn't it? I've never felt like this as much before, as I have this long last month... I also never felt warm at all last month. Even at work I've taken to wearing a jaunty outdoor scarf - One of a selection I have in readiness at home.

I was wearing one long, fluffy, furry purple one last week and had it around my neck then draped down my body, over my knees - I was even wearing it at meetings, in front of stakeholders...
It's practically a blanket!


I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear my scarves unfurled.


I need some sartorial Ersatz... Some glitz, some glamour, some glee...


And I think there are many of us women who are admitting to feeling a little lacklustre at the mo'. Our kids are growing and about to flee, or fly, the shaky nest. We're having to re-discover who we are, having perhaps forgotten who we ever were to start with; Before the majority of us put our lives on hold, our wild hearts stilled, to try to raise decent childer... To bring them up, subjugating ourselves, our very souls, for the time being...
Who can blame us for feeling frozen, stalled, discombobulated even... Apart from the wobbly bits that is, which proceeded to move and stir, rattle and roll, ebb and flow of their own volition.
So now it's time to tackle the wobbly bits.
Then I'll have a go at dealing with my wibbles...
Next week I'll do the cake thing, search for a suitable pressie for The Birthday Boy... A card with 18 on it in big gold letters... Some candles.
Maybe I'll see my true self reflected back in the candle's flickering flame.
It's a funny old life, non??!

12 comments:

Cindy said...

you make sense. i've been trying to re-discover who i am...for years. i'm very bad at it! and when my son turns 18 i think that i shall be more discombobulated than ever. hope that i have a better sense of myself before then or i'll be off the map for good :)

sallymandy said...

Wise thoughts. Eighteen years! You deserve something really great on that day.

I've given up rediscovering who I am. It's always been a work in progress, and I suppose always shall be. That's okay though. It's the journey that counts!

Loved your post.

French Fancy said...

So many female bloggers are lately turning to this sort of subject. Yes, it must be the long January which has given so many the blues. You should give yourself a big pat on the back for having brought up a son to manhood. You should also hope his teenage years are not extended as long as mine were - I was still practicing teenage rebellion until I was about 29!

Good luck with WW. Do they still do points?

slommler said...

I agree...it is the journey!! I am ever evolving and it has been exciting.
January has been a long, long cold month. I am so ready for February and the heralding of spring. Come on spring...please..we need you!!
Congrats and Happy Birthday to your son. My turns 42 this month!! Ykes!!
My granddaughter turned 21!! And I am still playing with glue and paints! Woohoo! Yay for me!
Hugs
SueAnn

Secretia said...

Go ahead, get your weight under control, start exercising more.

Moannie said...

I am thinkinh of writing a blog entitled Damn and Blast[do you think that will raise a few eyebrows?] and one of the damned will be Anonymous. Anyway, hat is digressing.
I do not know your age, mon petite, but at forty one I was in the same sort of crisis, even a head case imagining myself to have curious lumps in my throat that inhibited my eating and breathing...all psycosomatic [spelling?] Honestly cherie, believe me when I tell you that the old saw is true: when one door closes another door opens. As to the wobbly bits, unless they are horrendous try covering up with something from this store, a recent find of mine...comfortable, colourful and different.
www.gudrunsjoden.com
Even if you dont buy it is all pretty to look at, enjoy a browse.

Derrick said...

Hi Fhina,

For feeling cold and stalled, that was a good bit of writing! I love the thought of you wearing your scarves unfurled! Good luck at WW and for Grizz's big day.

Dumdad said...

I think this winter has got a lot of us down. Too much snow and too much greyness and cold. Roll on Spring!

Your son's 18? Mine is 16 in a couple of weeks' time. Where did the time go?

Jan said...

Oh Fhina - I know where you're at !!!My 'baby boy' will be 22 in April and he just got engaged on Sunday ! I do still have my baby girl though for the moment - she turned ten last month and still takes her faourite teddy bear to bed with her. I've joined Rosemary Conley in an attempt to be slim when the weddings announced (5-10 years hence , hmmm?)

Bagman and Butler said...

Poor old T.S. Elliot -- I hear the shade of his voice moaning even as I type -- "Scarves unfurled! So much better than 'trousers curled.' Oy Vey! Why didn't I think of that? And why is my ghost speaking Yiddish?

carma said...

I hear you Fhina. Time is passing much too quickly. I've been having a midlife crisis for at least 5 years now and realizing that VC will be entering high school has me realizing all the more that I need to pick up a few more hobbies as he, like Grizz, will be flying the nest before I know it. And if I don't keep the mind busy, I'll be sitting around overloading on carbs to make myself feel better :D

Hope you find your bloggy mojo again soon. Mine was flagging but I'm now back to relatively regular posting.

Enjoy Grizz's birthday :-)

Hands to Work, Hearts to God said...

You write very interestingly and I'm enjoying your blog, but I don't agree with your title!

Something I wrote earlier...

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