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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

I wish...

Now, an evening with Joe Bonamassa is just one that you can't ignore...

My life's troubles were momentarily forgotten as I listened to Joe's virtuoso guitar twanging and his soulful, rhyming, lyrics...

I say momentarily, because I find that when your mind is whirring overly on the detail of things, you can't possibly concentrate on the moment in hand.

Life passes you by.

You are astir. At sea, in a swell of fearful thoughts and non-deeds.

Your mind is otherwise AWOL. Out looking for the plot.

I wish I were, I would... I want.

My mind was not mine own to command, and I found that moments in the concert had utterly passed me by.

...Moments that I could not even recall experiencing. Now, my mind is clearer, a month or so along from the concert. There was no magic wand. I began to live in the moment, and ceased to dwell on a hopeless future.

I also found this very useful morceau d'information at Student Depression dot Org which described for me where I was at that moment of mind in time... HERE http://www.studentdepression.org/stress_anxiety_and_anger.php

I resent, er resemble, at least two of the following examples.

I was clearly feeling a lot of stress and this was leading to a state of high anxiety and catastrophising...

Phew, I find it a struggle to even pronounce that one! As Schnozzle Durante used to utter, "It's a catastroph!"

I know I am also a one for Avoidance!

Please read on:

More depressed thinking habits

The following are a few examples of further unhelpful habits which contribute to angry or anxious habit spirals, and therefore to the depression habit spiral.

  1. Rule-bound thinking

    We all use a variety of "rules" or principles to guide our action and streamline thought processes. But unrealistically rigid ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ set up stressful regular experiences of frustration and lack of control. This leads to angry or anxious feelings, which in turn intensify the wish for the world to operate according to clearer rules… When applied to your own behaviour, the habit of rule-bound thinking can lead to unhelpful self-bullying.
  2. "Control freakery"

    Rule-bound thinking is closely linked to "control freakery", or the unrealistic attempt to keep rigid control over ourselves and outside events. Our attitude towards control is very commonly infected by unhelpful all-or-nothing thinking. Aiming for either ‘total control’ or ‘no control’ results in things being chaotically out of control, dramatically raising anxiety or anger levels. True control results from a flexible, relaxed and realistic approach.
  3. Catastrophising

    Catastrophising is another extension of rule-bound thinking, when deviations from the rules or expectations are experienced as disasters. Thinking your life will be ruined because you fail one exam is an example of catastrophising. This habit is linked to perfectionism and other habits, like superstitious thinking, which are focused on trying to achieve an unrealistic level of control.
  4. Hyper-vigilance

    Being appropriately aware of risks helps us to be sensibly cautious. But risks can't be totally eliminated from life. Over-focus on physical dangers such as plane crashes or psychological dangers such as rejection or criticism raises adrenalin levels without helping us to do anything about these dangers. Unrealistic risk aversion and hyper-vigilance can be reinforced in modern ‘blame’ culture (see page on depression-inducing society).
  5. Avoidance

    Over-use of the "flight" response to stressful situations is a particularly risky habit. If you never give yourself the opportunity to face difficulties (for fear of failure), you give yourself instead a kind of ‘evidence’ that these difficulties can’t be faced. At its worst, this habit can lead to complete inertia or even agoraphobia (ie. being unable to go out).

Any of these sound familiar?

If you experience high levels of anxiety or anger, or if any of these habits sound familiar, it is especially important for you to learn about managing stress levels, as well as working on challenging these and other depressed thinking habits.

Can you see yourself in any of these examples?

It is so important to recognise when we are stressed out.

It isn't always easy to do.

If you're like me, you avoid asking for help.

Don't. That's my advice. For what it's worth.

Hopefully, in time, my psychotherapy training will also get me more 'in the know', au fait, as the Frenchies say: I'll be better able to handle what life chucks my way, threatening as it does, to push me off my Penny Farthing into another century...

Then, I will be better equipped to help others. ...Which is right where I want to be.

That's my two penn'orth!

What do you wish for, mes bloggy Einsteins?

Fhina is waiting, and her clinic door is slightly ajar...

Image courtesy of Getty


Saz said...

mon cher...l will sedn you copies of some of my cbt gumpfh very apt....

with love

saz x

pity l forget to use them on days like today...

puff puff

Gigi said...

Holy cow - that's me to a tee at the moment. Hmmm, do you take appointments?

Dragonfly Dreams said...

Er - how many "yes's" are allowed to those questions? No wonder I have been feeling so overwhelmed! Thanks for the tips Fhina!

(And big hugs to you too!)

Anonymous said...

Some of the things you mentioned in this post regarding stress and thinking habits prompted me to share this. We have designed a free personal growth system that is tailor made to help with these issues. If you want to give it a try, you can find it below. If not, that's fine too.


Best of luck to you,


Pearl said...

Odd -- I needed all of this today...


Anonymous said...

Great reading yet again. I have many of those traits myself and am often stressed to my max and don't know how to relieve it! I'm working on asking for help more which is very hard for me, as it seems it is for you as well.

thanks for sharing this

Something I wrote earlier...

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