Just in case you were wonderin'... I thought this week that I had swapped lives with my wondrously blue and clever friend from over The Pond, Bloggus Nuttus, who occasionally gets herself into some scraps and scrapes... But then, I came to my senses (the few Fhina has left!), to realise that - No, I have always been THIS clumsy.
It wasn't me on Friday, in fact who, on a long train journey from Morpeth to Leeds was taking a quiet pis-pis in the loo, only to find myself exposed 'en deshabillee' by a business-man pushing the button to enter the loo, only to find la Fhina still seated on her Throne... He was gone before I exited the establishment, thankfully - How can you look someone in the eye after that, mes bloggy Hand-Basins??!
And, it wasn't me this week who, during the refreshment break of a conference, squeezed into a ladies' toilet cubicle, only to find the decorative metal fastenings of my black denim leggings got snarled up with the hygienic disposal receptacle... I thought I was going to have to call for help from the staff to disentangle meself... How embarrassing would that have been??!
It wasn't me this week who, a short time later, turned on the hot water for hand-washing purposes, only to be trapped and soaked to my skin by the decorative and very, very powerful, fountain-jet of water skooshing out of the tap... I resembled a drowned rat, and looked as if I had swum from home to Leeds via the Coquet, the Tyne and the Ouse Rivers!
It wasn't me this week who rang in a fault with my computer at work to our help-desk a long, long way away... When someone hadn't come to sort out the fault in 40 minutes, I spoke to colleagues to see if they were having similar problems, only to find that I had actually called our off-site Building Maintenance people instead... Doh!
It wasn't me this week who, again at work, poured my last remaining jot of milk from the fridge down the sink, then rinsed my Peter Rabbit, (well, I do work in Early Years Policy!), mug out only to remember that I had actually come in to the kitchen to make myself a much-needed jolt of Joe!
It wasn't me who was in possession of two sets of train tickets for two identical journeys on two different days this week, only to take the wrong set out with me on the day I needed to travel to a meeting... And found out only once I had boarded the train, the train had left the station, and the ticket inspector was checking my tickets! I had to return to work after apologising to the kind inspector like a loon, being allowed by him to get out at the next stop without paying extra, and begging a lift back to the office from my husband, who had to leave his office and his busy job to rescue me... I then collected the right tickets from my office, and set out on my journey all over again... Ho hum...
Sometimes, I think life would just be soooo much easier were I to never leave the house... Seriously!
