For bold and beautiful Suldog, yes, my father out-law ran himself over in his own car by doing the following: Dropping my lovely sis-in-law off for her Christmas 'do', he got rather disoriented and lost in a town he doesn't know so well. Panicking about having to get back to look after his five year old grand-daughter (the man is over 85 and she was sitting peaceably at home with her very capable seventeen year old brother in any case), he drove into an industrial estate where he found a taxi-driver sitting in his stationary car.
He did a lightning manoeuvre to drive up to this man to ask directions before he drove off. He jumped out of his manual car, not applying the handbrake before getting out, and then slipped on some ice so he was under the back of the car... Calling to the taxi-driver, while holding the car back as long as he could with one hand, the car proceeded to slowly run over his ankle.
The taxi-driver rang for an ambulance, pushing aside my pa-in-law's stupid insistence that he was all right. He was many hours in A & E. I don't know if my sis-in-law left her 'do'. I'd suspect not. He was eventually released with bad bruising. He was in fact very lucky. He is, and all evidence points to it, an idiot. Again, we were informed about this accident, rather casually by said sis-in-law, on New Year's Day. Not when it actually happened.
In similar circumstances, when she was in hospital pending the birth of her daughter - My niece - She had been abandoned by her then-husband, I was anxious for news. I had to resort to ringing her work-place, to actually find out whether she'd had the baby, or not. What does that tell you about our state of family affairs, mes bloggy silver birches?! Hein?
Disfunctional, that's what!
I've very little sympathy for him. Or even her. After years of mistreatment at both of their hands. Christmases ruined. Accusations and anger - Theirs. Madness and selfish behaviour - Theirs. Fulsome neglect of his own grand-son - My son. And making lots of efforts to put things on some kind of track with them - All mine. A few years back, I decided to put my own mental health first and I try to be dutiful, but I don't feel anything towards them and their idiocy now. I don't. They're not worth it.
Am I bitter? I was. I would have wanted some kind of relationship with my nephews, my niece. I would have wanted to be an aunt to them, like mine were to me... I valued them so, being an only child.
Instead, I am a distant auntie. They have some relationship with my son, admittedly - My nephews at least. But, even he tired of this family's antics some time ago. He has both our surnames - My son. Out and about in life, he chooses mainly to use mine. He had a magnificent relationship with my father, for which I shall be eternally grateful and thank the stars in the firmament for it.
It is a hard lesson to absorb for a teenager, I fear. To learn that your grandfather is no hero, but an idiot. And that your aunt is feckless, self-absorbed and a bit of a waste of time. I waited for him to form his own opinions on all this - He rarely heard a word from me on the subject. What he witnessed was enough for his young and fertile mind.
I started to write this post this morning, full of the stuff I have been doing lately, which has kept me from blogging for a time. Some very positive things that are helping me move along somewhat, after years of treacly grief and 'being strong' for others and neglecting myself.
Maybe I just needed these few moments, to mourn the passing of what might have been with them, and get this bile out of my system...
Beautiful Auntie Gwen from Auntie Gwen's Diary has been kind enough to tag me...
The rules are: Go to the 4th folder in your computer where you store your pictures Pick the 4th picture in that folder Explain the picture Tag 4 people to do the same
As I'm not technically gifted enough to store my own photos, and rely upon my family to do this for me - They are on Grizzler's laptop...
Here instead is the fourth photo taken from my fourth album on Photobucket. This album is called City of Lights, and you might not be surprised that, like Auntie Gwen's, it concerns a love of Paris, the capital of France.
This picture is of Sacre Coeur in the area known as Montmartre, once filled with vineyards, once the haunt of artists and painters, musicians and writers... Now it is a higgle-piggle, hodge-podge of tinsly touristy shops, (some) seedy clubs, and many, many bars and cafes. Oh, and the splendiferous modern meringue that is Sacre Coeur itself...
The views that open up from the steps of the church are wonderful, and I cannot resist a trip up the hill on the funicular railway, jostling with tourists!
Still, the peace and tranquillity and a scintilla of what magic the area once held can still be found, by wandering the streets of Montmartre and stepping away from the crowds...
I cannot resist adding in some of the other pictures in this album. Hope you don't mind?
Paris in the palm of your hand!
City of Lights
Ah, the atmosphere and drama of Black and White photography...Timeless!
One little vignette from our last trip to Paris a year last Christmas - the first time we have ever had Christmas away from home, and it was uplifting, invigorating and enchanting for us as a family.
(And, to be fair, we got a good deal then in terms of Sterling against the Euro - We could not afford to take that trip again this year, even if I had been in full fitness with my back... Alors, my fond commiserations to my British chums sequestered in lovely France, who are struggling quite a bit with the credit crunch...)
As a family, we always trot about Paris every day of our trip, and religiously try to avoid the many beggars and merchants lining the streets of the most familiar attractions and landmarks.
Grizzler has been brought up to do as we do, head down, a swift "Non!" and hurtling past the many African-origin hawkers and tradesmen.
When we reached the bottom of the steps at Sacre Coeur on Christmas Day evening, we had got slightly separated from one another in the crowds. I reached for GJ in the dimming light, and found him, but where was our 6' 4" Griz?
We spotted him with his blond mane above the many other heads in the crowds; He was in the process of having Rasta braids woven around his index finger by a stocky black man. Our hearts sank - Just how long would this take, just how were we about to be fleeced by these men, how could we escape, they are so experienced in inveigling change from the unwitting tourist?
We approached the chap and found a bemused Griz... The fellow was chatting away to G about the luck this weaving would bring him, and how this bracelet - in Jamaican colours - red, gold and green - would last until he saw us again.
It was a cold night, the throngs of tourists were anxious to be on their way, and by now we had a crowd of the merchants surrounding us, curiously laughing and bantering away.
The deed finished, the bracelet clamped to Grizzles's wrist, GJ began to negotiate a price. They asked us where we were from, and one of the guys spoke of living in London until quite recently. GJ mentioned working in Nigeria of late, said he was accustomed to haggling (he lied!) and named a price, half of what the chuckling merchant wanted.
We finally agreed on what was probably not a fair price, and scuttled away. We reasoned afterwards, once securely ensconced and laughing in a local eaterie, that it would have been pretty slim pickings for those men that night, and how they were obviously 'all for one and one for all' in this endeavour, making their living in a relatively haphazard way.
We opined that they would likely as not have shared what they had managed to fleece, good-naturedly, from the average tourist, and felt we had in the end paid for a half-hour's entertainment and friendly banter!
Still ringing in my ears were the merchant's final words to me, en Francais, about my husband, "You bring your man back to me again next year, and I will give him lovely braids in his hair!"
This made us hoot hysterically; GJ has longish locks for most men, together with a pronounced widow's peak, and is thinning up top it would be fair to say, and has been since I met him when he was 21...
Laugh, he nearly cried!
and to end, a Gargoyle of Notre Dame
In the spirit of tagging, I need to pass this on to 3 or 4 more people in accordance with the rules, so, hoping you don't mind, I tag:
As for the Premio Dardos award kindly proffered to me by Diane at Diane's Addled Ramblings the other day, I passed it to Moannie, but I also need to pass it on to 3 other people to acknowledge the values that every blogger shows in his or her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values every day....
Drumroll please, Maestro!
Auntie Gwen at Auntie Gwen's Blogspot for her beauty, warmth and, almost daily, witty honesty and insights;
Saz at FFF for the obvious - The woman is a follower-magnet, she writes so effortlessly;
Kate Coveny Hood at The Big Piece of Cake because we all need cake, comfort and good sense in our lives!
After yesterday's marathon, I shall be happy if there's anyone still out there reading this - I promise to be swift! I typed marathong there - Wonder what that would look like?!
Today, I am tagging myself with a short Meme, I spotted, um...somewhere...
6 Things That Make Me Happy...
1.
Music:- I don't listen as much as I would wish, and don't know why. Music can lift my soul.
I sing appallingly, caterwaulingly, in the car, in the house, to favourite songs on the radio. Singing is good for my heart and my mood, and especially if it's live music. I've made a New Year's pact with GJ to go to more live gigs this year - I don't care if we are the oldest liggers in the audience, or the mosh pit - I'm going! Er, once me back's fixed...
2.
Reading: I love to spend time luxuriating with a good book, sometimes one of my comfort books. Reading has taught me much about life and the lives of people.
A lecturer of mine, Kelsey Thornton, (he wore capes and floppy hats to lectures apparently - Before my time though, sadly... it would have been fabulous!)
...once told a hushed auditorium: "Literature is the quintessential essence of life..."
I think it is, and I'll fight you if you tell me it's not!
3.
I could not live without Human Contact, or should I say, positive human contact...
"’Tis the human touch in this world that counts, The touch of your hand and mine, Which means far more to the fainting heart Than shelter and bread and wine. For shelter is gone when the night is o’er, And bread lasts only a day. But the touch of the hand And the sound of the voice Sing on in the soul always".
by Spencer Michael Free
4. I am happiest when I am with and amongst animals - See my about me -
Alpacas,
Goats and Sheep can make me squeak with delight. I love dogs, but have not owned a dog since leaving home for College - I would really love to be adopted by a dog or dogs. If I ever had the time and space, and would like a German Shepherd, a Bedlington Terrier, and two Dachshunds
, but he/they might fight with this one my cat:
I will settle for the two dachsies in time, and more cats, and a goat!
I also love wildlife and birds, but not to keep, as such - Although I keep getting GJ to stop the car in a nearby village where someone keeps emus!
5. The art of creating things makes me happy - Whether in my beloved Stained Glass Art class, writing stuff, as in blogging, is fun; Making new friends here has given me a huge boost in confidence and contentment... Thank you, bless you!
6. My family and good, good friends - Nuff said!
They are my rocks and my comforters...
I'm not going to tag anyone, this is just for fun - If you want to pick it up yourself for a quieter day, please feel free to do so?
The usual rules…
Link to the person who gave you the award. If you want.
Post the rules on your blog.
List six things that make you happy.
Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. If you want...
Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
Let the person who awarded you know when your entry is up.
I've noticed a trend for 100 Things About Me on some other blogs, so thought I might have a go at that here - I hope you like getting a little closer to l'il ol' me, don't breathe too deeply in by the way, I've a bit of a sore throat just now, courtesy of Ter Griz!
1. I am first and foremost a mum to Grizzler; That does not mean I am not occasionally manic, and value my independence.
2. I love reading - GJ once gave me a little silver charm of a book with a little worm inside it! I still have it...
3. I am as blind as a bat and I couldn't respond well to sounds like bats do, because I am also practically corned beef - I am that person who has to cup her ear to hear you better when in cafes or bars! I am that old!
4. I love candlelight and, one Christmas, was severely burned on the hand while moving a flaming (in more ways than one) glass tealight holder - Take care when burning candles, y'all.
5. I am a Civil Servant and have worked on regional policy work for three or four government departments, including the Home Office, since leaving College. So ask me anything you like about worklessness, the Childcare and Early Years agenda, or Crime and Drugs!
6. I wish I had the courage to work at being a writer, and I am always trying to harangue my (about to be married - see blog the day before yesterday) to write, because he is amazing...
7. I love this Blogging Community, and am very new to it!
8. I adore Stevie Nicks and identify wildly with her life... I have seen her once in concert in the year of my 40th Birthday; It made my year, how sad is that?!
9. I live in the north of England, between raging sea, fragrant moor and ancient mountain.
10. I can drive, and my car is a Nissan X-Trail...
11. I bought the car with some of the small inheritance my much loved dad left me - I figured he would have wanted me to be safe... I had extreme 'Adult Orphan' feelings for a long time, (my mum passed ten years before my dad), and because of this have still actually to scatter his ashes, as he requested, on the island of Lindisfarne.
It's 3 years since his passing, March in fact...
12. Previous to buying said SUV, I have twice been hauled out of 1) a stream, and 2) a ditch, both when it was snowing, and I once had to try to balance on the bonnet of GJ's car, in high heeled boots, 'to give some ballast', as he tried to drive our old car up an icy, slippery hill near our home in a blizzard!!!
13. I am terrified of losing everything and I am an awful worrier/flibbertigibbet and scopadiddle!
14. I get worse as I get older!
15. I'm a good listener and 'nodder'... (I give good Body Language, apparently!)
16. Oh, and my favourite colour is pink, sorry!
17. I sort of believe in angels, speak to them and ask them for interventions - to find me parking spaces, and so on! I am as mad as a ship's cat, you might have noticed?
18. I am a spiritual person, butI am not what you might call religious.
19. I know I am a good person, and colleagues have been known to sneak up to others and ask whether I am really as nice as I seem...
20. People say I'm a great manager! I want the best for those who work with me. Other, tougher managers think I'm too lackadaisical with folk, but I know that isn't true!
21. I am a vegetarian, but one who does eat Moules Mariniere whenever in France or Belgium!
22. I am very close to my cousin, David, who is the brother I never had.
23. I wish I could make my living out of creating stained glass art. Maybe I could if I were as good as that!
24. My cat thinks I am a pontoon, a cushion and a feeding machine!
25. I love puddings and desserts!
26. I love to swim and am a semi-aquatic creature! This picture is for Billy!
27. I am overweight!
28. I am blonde and blue eyed.
29. I have visited the Bronte Parsonage and felt the family there!
30. I have always regarded my husband as my best friend.
31. That doesn't mean we don't sometimes fight!
32. I am appalled at the numbers of people who go missing each year and try to do constructive stuff around that fact.
33. Music is in my soul!
34. My son is a crazy drummer, and I love that!
35. We have a small boat, but I am frightened of sailing on the unforgiving sea.
36. Our small yacht, Troika, is currently on a land-locked lake...
37. I have an inner rock chick!
38. I love history, and dabble knowledge-wise!
39. I identify with strong female leads - in history, on TV, in music!
40. I have a few treasured girlfriends, whom I treasure.
41. I have a couple of really close male friends, whom I would trust with my life.
42. No male has ever lived up to the goodness of my dad...
43. My mum was a strong woman, but with a blancmange interior, a lot like me.
44. She was one of the first bus drivers of her time!
45. I am very proud of her for that, among other achievements.
46. She never really understood my academic progress.
47. I adore Paris, but feel more "me" when in Germany.
48. My son was born in Inverness, and I am proud of the fact that he is sort of Scottish.
49. We used to go out at weekends to see if there was a Loch Ness Monster!
50. I love art and art history.
51. In another life, I was going to work as a textile buyer for department stores, if I could not be a graphic designer!
52. My colleagues say my middle name is Google, and that I would have made a great detective!
53. I have known my best friend in the world since we were 3 years of age!
54. I like clocks and we have a few! I always like to know what time it is!
55. I am an eternal optimist and try to bolster others up!
56. In another life, I would love to deal in Antiques.
57. I love Gustav Klimt and Edvard Munch.
58. I laid a rose on Albrecht Duerer's grave in Nuernberg.
59. I have visited Jim Morrison's grave in Paris, and my son was named for Jim and James Brown, as well as for my dad (and, it turns out, many of his forebears!)
Get on up!
60. I want to visit Keat's grave in Italy.
61. I dragged my 3 year old son around Keats' house in Hampstead!
62. I dragged my 3 year old son around Dickens' house in Holborn.
63. I despair at how uncultured he appears in his teen years!
64. I wish I could work in a voluntary capacity in animal welfare.
65. I was involved with British tv programmes to help the long term unemployed into work.
66. It was terrifying, and we only made 6 programmes!
67. I was involved for 2 years with staff exchanges with the German Civil Service.
68. I spent 6 weeks working in Duesseldorf when my son was 8.
69. If I hadn't met my OH I was bent on a career as a teacher in the Royal Air Force in Germany.
70. My dad spent 12 years in the RAF.
71. I was conceived in Aden while my dad was in the RAF.
72. My mum was 17 when she married my dad.
73. She was 27 when she had me.
74. I was 27 when I gave birth to Grizzler!
75. I am not a 'girly-girl'.
76. I wish I could have been an actress.
77. I wish I had had the gift of being able to sing - See 95.
78. I feel European and not English, as such.
79. I speak French.
80. I speak German.
81. I speak un poco Espagnol.
82. I still have a lovely German penfriend, Silvia - Now we e-mail - 30 years' on and still going!
83. I sort of abandoned a French boyfriend at 17 (he was a little older), because I was terrified of the commitment he wanted of me, and the fact he wanted me to spend my summer looking after his aunt's children while he had a summer job as a petrol pump attendant. He was a bit of a male chauviniste, and I am a bit of a feministe... not a good match! I honestly hope his life turned out wonderfully.
84. I met GJ next when I was just 19. Go on, say it, you know you want to, "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..."
85. I was an au pair to an aristocratic family in Paris when I was 20.
86. I still lurk on t'Internet to follow the paths of those babies I looked after, L (newborn) - who was adorable, and F-G (aged 2), who was a terrible-twos nightmare.
87. I have worked as a Council Playscheme Leader. We had a sandcastle building competition one day - It was pouring with rain and a blistering gale - It was the summer - One of the parents complained that his daughter had lost a sock and plimsoll when the tide came in. I thought he was lucky he still had his daughter - We were that chaotic!
88. I want to retire early to France; I want to look after a bunch of animals and indulge my (maybe?) grandchild(ren) then!
90. I am a terrible cook, partly because I am out of practice, partly because my OH cooks so well, and partly because my kitchen is a wreck and only one ring on the cooker works!
91. I am a real cineaste! I don't mind going to the Cinema alone, but don't do it as often as I would like.
92. My most favourite film is Practical Magic.
93. I have godchildren I don't see enough of...
94. I sometimes resent really pretty women whom men fall over to help - Their path in life always seems so much smoother, or is it just me? I never show my resentment by the way, like I say I am 'nice', and someone did tell me once that "Nice is under-rated as a quality in people!"
95. I am rushing this now, so I can go off and watch American Idol - It is my only weakness...
96. I love the sea (but not to sail on it).
97. I was brought up beside a fishing community with all the ensuing tragedies of lost lives - And I wonder where my sailing on the sea fears come from!
98. I do not like my in-laws very much - They don't like me and I don't understand them. I have tried... honestly!
99. I have never skiied or snow-boarded, but I have fallen off skateboards and bikes many times. 100. I abseiled once in my teens and loved it!
I have noticed a trend here for doors and a surfeit of ambitions and unachieved career goals here - I know other people who have planned to do lots of things with their lives, and you recognise how our options do diminish as we grow older... I'm not in any way bitter, I feel it's just a part of growing up, that you settle for things sometimes... We all have to make compromises sometimes...
I think it's easier for young people in some respects nowadays - They can (indeed have to, world economy-wise) move from different job to different job, and across continents, particularly Europe. This is good for them, but I guess never easy...
And in conclusion, after all these words, here's something really rocking from the 80's, the fabulous Cameo and Word Up
Or, this is a rockier live version from Arsenio Hall - Enjoy!
Have a great Saturday all of you who cross this portal!
