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Thursday, 12 February 2009

Time And The Confessional Box!


Michelle, as the boldly intelligent Suldog rightly said, my 'box of frogs' yesterday, was a box of Baby Possums! I don't want to say what he said that some ignorant people do with them - My fingers are in my ears at the mo', and I'm singing, Lalallalalalaaaa!

GB at Eagleton Notes also submitted his very interesting blog about possums, or opossums, as they are called in NZ. Apparently, they cause quite a bit of environmental damage, and so the population is controlled. Please go see GB's blogs, they hold everything you might ever need to know.


Soooo, a couple of dear bloggy friends have asked me how I can do this, write as much, selecting pics - I must be online forever, they chide... Photobucket
I am electing to enter the confessional box today, to share some things with you, rather than offering up the mere Meme I had prepared yesterday...

Sorry it's a bit long, scroll down to the end, should you wish... I shan't be offended in the slightest! You may indeed switch off half way through, so I shall set the alarm to go off in ten minutes, if you like - Then you have no fear of drifting off into your coffee...
coffee Pictures, Images and Photos

The fact is, friends, that it really doesn't take up all my time - But I can do nowt else at the moment... At least every weekday, I am at home, I journey not far... unable to do anything much other than run the occasional laundry load, or hand wash a couple of dishes... I bend not, I dip not, I walk little, I climb not... I sit, or rather slouch, loads...
Hey, baby.  Is that a hooker on your chaise longue, or are you just happy to see me? Pictures, Images and Photos
Are you sitting comfortably? For I am not!

It all started back in May 2008 - I was seeing a nurse who was conducting an ECG exam on me at the doctor's surgery... I was asked to get off the doctor's couch. Simple procedure usually - However, the nurse had been unable to raise or lower the couch owing to it being incorrectly wired, with the instructions in German - 'Ab und Auf...' baby Athena Pictures, Images and Photos If I had known this beforehand, I might have translated for her...

Did you know that, in Medicine, the most useful piece of equipment is the Retrospectoscope?!
Time Machine! Pictures, Images and Photos
So, half nyekked, and anxious to be back in me vestments in a chilly room, (ahh, the pleasures of dear old England in May!), I shot off the couch - When I say shot - it was a bit high to jump, and I landed badly - Kerchonk!!! Really, it was that dramatic - and I did hear the noise... Hello, hello, are you still awake???! Accustomed to having had a dicky back since having an accident at work in my twenties, I went home to enjoy the rest of my day off work, as planned... Some chance!

I got steadily worse - This has happened every couple of years or so, so I thought - Rest and it will heal itself, as it usually does... I returned to work after a couple of days, with a walking stick... Enough to make you feel like an old crock, non? - Hard to be elegant when carrying a walking stick... No sympathy, please, that is not why I am tippy-tappying away today...

I went to see an Acupuncturist a couple of times - It didn't work - The pain moved down into my leg... I continued to work full time, commuting up to 3 hours a day; Improved slightly, I cast aside the stick Photobucket and I rode to work each day with GJ, me clinging on to the handle on the passenger side. I got a specially adapted chair at work to make me more comfortable - They are nice people at work...

I stopped walking very far, I was in too much pain... The "gothic" suit of armour of duke Sigismund of Tyrol. Pictures, Images and Photos It was like having an iron gauntlet around your outer knee and calf, squeezing tightly. I went to see a Physiotherapist, who made me laugh, and he told me I had been cossetting my back for years; He gave me some exercises to do, saying I had all the flexibility of his 85 year old mother - Comforting, no? I am just over half her age!

I just kept on going, doing what I could, telling people I was fine, but in reality I was in constant pain. I went for a blood pressure check one day - All of Hades broke loose in the surgery, after I mentioned the couch-induced injury... Disclaimer-style forms and a doctor appeared from nowhere - Random tests ensued, and the doctor said I'd likely slipped a disc which would repair itself in time.

"Slipped disc!", I shouted, "... Slipped disc!" I was shocked. I went back to the Physio, sure that I could conquer this... Why didn't I stick to the Medical route, you ask...

Well, reader! In my twenties, I was referred to a surgeon, who was more interested in his cup of tea and digestive biccie, than in me... I was moving to Scotland at the time for GJ's job, and he said he could operate to 'chop bits out of my leg', which may or may not help my back, but that the doctors in Scotland could get on with it, really - Nice, eh? I knew that cutting bits out of legs was a dodgy practice, even with leg length discrepancy, jake the peg Pictures, Images and Photos (it's very common, you know - Get the tape measure out and get someone you trust to measure your leg length, and let me know the results!) As a result of this, I avoided most doctors and consultants... men in white coats Pictures, Images and Photos Anyone, in fact, wearing a white coat!

In late October, I was at a tedious meeting with some lovely people - I'd got sick of ferrying my special chair everywhere with people taking the mick, albeit good-naturedly - I sat in an office chair instead, and two and a half hours later I practically had to crawl to the car to meet my husband - I cried, wept, screamed all the way home... I took to bed, getting out of it only to shower, weeping, for around five weeks...

My OH bundled me into the car one day to see another lovely, understanding, caring, doctor, who referred me to a Consultant - I waited - It took weeks, owing to cock-ups in the commissioning system, with MRIs being dealt with by a private medical insurance company, not the NHS... Why, oh why, oh why?! I rang up and badgered them, for they were incapable of checking records, claiming my 'phone number was wrong, and they hadn't been able to contact me, so I'd been put to the back of the queue!

I rang the hospital and arranged an MRI scan for the next Sunday - Just on the Friday before that, I had been talking to my boss about returning to work - I could not sit upright, I was slouching on the sofa, as I am now, to type... It's the only comfortable position I can find - No sympathy now, please... but I just wanted to try to get back to whatever would pass for normal...
After the MRI (once again, I had to stand on a chair in order to get onto, and get off of, the machine (the up/down mechanism was kaputt) - Lord only knew how they got the wheelchair-bound lady who came in after me onto the contraption...) I saw a doctor who didn't want to let me out of the hospital, the scan looked so awful...


Reassured that I was not about to kipper it there and then, he arranged a 'pre-admission to hospital' appointment - At this point, no-one had really explained to me what exactly was going on, behind my back, as it were, so I was terrified...irrational, wibbling, like a little girl - I was in the dark, vulnerable... See an earlier post for proof - I was as mad as a fruit bat, never mind yesterday's baby possums!

I realised it would be folly to return to work until I was sorted for once and for all (hopefully) by the Surgeon's Knife... Two weeks later, I saw the Consultant who will operate on my back at the end of this month -

He is seven foot tall, aged around 12, with the handshake of a Pro-Wrestler! Finally I had someone explain to me what the nature of my injury is, and it is significant - The disc was never going to go back in of its own accord, it overlaps two discs in fact, and a piece of it, or something else, is also floating about loose back there - Too much information, I know, sorry!


So - Since January, when I discovered Blogland proper, rather than lurking, which I'd done for an age, (GJ bought me a laptop for my December birthday/Chrimbo pressie combined), I have actually felt more positive about myself - Which has to be a good thing, right?

I have worked full time since leaving College, took only the allowed time off to have my son, Grizz, and then took part-time work for only 3 years after his birth... I have a busy working life - Lots to do, and so few of us to do it - As is the way in the public sector these days - The days of Civil Servants Photobucket Photobucket and 'fat-cat' Mandarins standing around drinking tea, have never been my experience... So, at present, while I cannot do much else... I blog, I write, I think and I plot... I read, I laugh, I love and occasionally a tear slips from my eye at the beauty of what a fellow bloggerista has written!

I touch type, so it doesn't take me long to write... I have always been able to go on and on at length, as all my bosses complain - 'Tis the bane of my (and their) life... and blogging is releasing for me a whole lot of 'stream of consciousness' stuff that must have been locked away for aeons, suppressed by daily, mortal toil - That, in all probability, and white wine!

I use Photobucket (other Photo sites are available!), to source my pics - I cut and paste suitable-ish images for the text, and it's all free... I dabble with the pics as inspiration for my writing in themselves sometimes - There are some clever and crazy people out there, logging all manner of interesting, funny, and beautiful moments with their cameras...

I take around half an hour for this, usually while GJ and Grizz are watching early evening TV, and it takes a couple of hours, or much less, to write... That's it... Ahhh, but reading your beautiful blogs takes me far, far longer, mes amis!

So, there you have it... Blogging as therapy, and release: (How much do you want as payment for this session, French Fancy, Saz, Diane, Belette??! and any number of generous, gorgeous others who keep telling me all will be well after the op, for they have been there, done that, got the T-Shirt and the stains!);Photobucket

Blogging absorbing up the space and energies, and much of the time I would usually be devoting to work;

Blogging as stimulation! (Daytime TV is the pits...);

Blogging as infotainment... (You are a horribly clever lot!);

Bloggering as edutainment... (See Daytime TV!);

Any questions??!


Drop back tomorrow, loves, and I shall have Awards for All, some special shout-outs (+ Dusty Spider's Friends Award (see right) to dish out to 8 lovely folk!), and a Valentine's Surprise is coming up for everyone on Friday, in time for the lovely, or the dreaded, Valentine's Day!

Ciao, bella!


Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Bless you Fhi..fabulous post once again!! where do you get the inspiration? to enhance your posts with such a flourish?

I too talk too much, Larry is always saying...'and the bottom line is?' and 'Can you cut to the chase please, I have to be in Bristol a week on Friday!'...and yes he is a funny man.. ha ha not hee hee!

anyway to hear the story of the back problem, of which I have been waiting for seemingly years!! Enfin!! No mention of an accident report or what your doctor is doing about this, as the incident (injury lawyers for YOU!) are they paying for you to go private if so, taking them a bloody long time.. NO dont tell me you didnt mention this nursey nurse and her german speeking couch, that H&S hadnt yet trained them on..risk assessment l hear shouting form behind you!! DISH the dirt Fhi.....when is the cheque expected!!??
love that last image by the way, l'm stealing it..

valentines day...??? fecking hell! pah!
explain please....

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Saz, I have not submitted any insurance claim - I am a bit afraid of incurring the wrath of the doctors, (Wuss!), plus owing to having had documented issues for years, that they will say, "It wasn't me!" - I am still thinking of it, should I end up going onto half pay, which will be une cauchemar! I am not going privately either, hence the long day's journey into night...

As for talking, I am also a good listener, but my bosses are always wondering if it's still light outside, when I am jabbering away - As for inspiration, I write a lot for work, boring policy papers, and so on, so think I am taking all of that energy out here in Blogland now! And, back to me, GJ is always looking distracted, when I start talking, he gets a funny, faraway look, as if the hills are calling him... Every time!

Steal what you will, my pet, I am only sorry that some of the images get sadly cropped by Blogger - The mannequin on the chaise longue, for example, is a stunner full size!

As for Valentine's - I get short-shrift, as so many seem to do, so I am taking back the reins, and everyone's getting a Valentine from me with all my love, xxx, so there!

Diane said...

Oh, bless your sweet heart! I'm so sorry you're having to suffer all that but, as I always try to see the positive in crap situations, your injury allowed you to become a part of this little world - and my little world - and for that I will be forever grateful! I've dealt with some chronic joint pain for years and though it's nothing like what you're experiencing, I know how it can wear on you. I'm glad you've found this therapy! Oh, and as for payment, a cuppa will do... and maybe a digestive (those chocolate-covered McVitties are yummy) :)... XO

French Fancy said...

As someone who had a bad prolapsed disc about 20 years ago and who was rushed in as an emergency, I have some idea of the pain you are in. In fact I remember my mum took my pain killers and sleeping pills away from me because I had got so depressed with the pain.

Hopefully you will be like me and awake from the op rejoicing that the dreadful knife-like constant pain I had been in prior to the op, had been replaced by regular post-op soreness and stiffness.

It's a much more straight-forward op these days and I have every confidence you will be just dandy.

As for the blame - you shouldn't have signed any waivers - never sign anything. It's probably too late to go to any solicitors about it.

Anyway, all you are probably concerned about is getting better. You will you know.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Diane, ditto, darling! I love choc digestives, but buy them so rarely, for obvious reasons - See yesterday's portly hamster! I am glad that enforced leisure has enabled me to meet friends like you - You really makes my day, honestly, and really the pain is not so bad now, it's just I'm afraid of causing more damage if I do too much... xxx

FF: I know that you are so right, and that back ops have changed for the better in the last 20 years! I am looking forward to some kind of return into society, as it is.

And I don't think what I signed was a waiver - I sort of read what I was signing and it seemed to be some kind of accident record. Thanks for all your support!

Protege said...

I am so sorry to hear about your injury and bad experience with physicians.
But I am glad you have now time to be writing a wonderful blog.;))
And the pictures are incredible, I will have to check out that Photobucket.;))

Derrick said...

Hello Fhina,

It is good that, despite your predicament(?) you can still tell us in this humorous way! Today pics are great. I must check out photobucket! Love Montgomery Clift and the possums!

Dumdad said...

A Far Side cartoon - it's a shame Gary Larson stopped cartooning some years back. I have quite a few of his anthologies and it was heartening to discover my son loves him as well.

Good luck with the back. I'm sure it'll be a success and then it'll be Back to the Past for you, so to speak.

Scriptor Senex said...

Haven't been ther and done that ('m pleased to say) but can I stil say I'm sure you'll be alright after the op. And think of all the grapes! I just hope that when you are fully recovered you don't lose the need for blogtherapy!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

lovely and generous thought Fhi...

jinksy said...

And you still manage to have a pink blog, rather than shades of blue!Is your chin-wot-you-are-keepng-up touching the ceiling yet? Carry on with the good work - Blogland is a better place for you being in it. x

Kate Coveny Hood said...

You certainly do keep things positive (for the most part) for someone in great discomfort. I have never had true back problems or injuries - but the small amount of experience that I have had gives me a great deal of sympathy for everything you've gone through!

blognut said...

I am much earlier along in the journey toward fixing a chronic back problem. I can't wait to see your posts after the surgery. Your success story may be just what I need to read!

Braja said...

God you're funny Fhina :) And...wait....is that you reclining on that lounge? :))

GB said...

Well I, obviously like others, stayed the course and got to the end. With no difficulty I might add. There is little that those of us who are sharing your experience through your words can do except be there to listen and, of course, to wish that everything goes well for you. In the meantime the fact that blogging gives you happiness means that it is a Good Thing. So keep at it in the knowledge that there are those of us who enjoy it and care.

Michelle said...

Fhina sweetie this post is a true masterpiece of brilliance!!!

I love the word bloggerista!!! May i use it sometime for my blog??? Its just a perfect word!!!

Your going to be just fine girlfriend!!! I have every confidence in your doctor and in you!!! Your strong and special and I LOVE YOU!!!!

You inspire me to be a better person!!!

French Fancy said...

I've come back to say I hope I didn't come over too much as a back know-all. I recall when I was at my worst - and this was before the internet - I sat reading all the many many books on backs and their problems that my dear old mum got me from the library. In the end I could have gone on Mastermind.

True pain is so dreadful, I know that is a kind of obvious remark but when you actually have something major go wrong in your body, it puts all the times one thinks one has been in pain into proportion.

Keep on with your brilliant blogposts anyway - you're a fantastic blogger.

Anonymous said...

Phew! What a treasure trove. I have been down the line and read a lot of posts that I somehow missed. Rodin and Msle C...absolute all time favourite sculptor and his muse. The meme, great answers and pics. I must try the photo bucket...

As for the history of your back pain...what a stain on our less than perfect, constantly struggling NHS. I'm afraid I would have been hollering down the place, never mind that you had a history, the frau's negligence has given you many years of pain and should have been sorted at the time...beginning with the sacking of said Frau.
If you keep doing what your doing, you'll keep getting what you got! Sue the bastards for passing the buck.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Protege: Thank you, P! I am glad to be here among friends!

Derrick: You have such fabulous photography and detail on your site, you have no need for Photobucket, of course, unless you want photos of Monty Clift and the (o)possums!

Dumdad: I hadn't realised Gary Larson had stopped - he is an amazing cartoonist, and so prolific! Thank you for your kind wishes...

Scriptor Senex: Sir, thank you! I don't think I will be leaving Blog Therapy any time soon! I just might not be able to do as much, is all... Then, there's always the possibility of redundancy at work?!

jinksy: Pink just brightens things, somehow - I did look at duck-egg blue for a bit, and no, I'm not turning into Paris Hilton! No tiny pooch-handbags for me! And you too, la jinksy, you too! x

Kate Coveny Hood: It's funny, I thought I would have the tendency to slip down into a bad place, and it was like that for a few weeks, and then I just got hold of my feelings and allowed things to just be, if you know what I mean... Bless you, Kate x

blognut: We can share horror stories and successes soon enough, I am sure of it! Hang on in there... There will be a chink of light at the end of your tunnel, too!

Braja: To have you say that I am funny is the greatest of compliments, B, you are such a comedy goddess and gifted writer, yourself! And as for the mannequin - I was wearing a darker wiglette that day!

GB: Bless you for all your stamina and staying power, Sir! I get all warm inside (pass the bucket!) when I think of the kindness, fellow feeling and intelligence of those people I meet here - It is a wonderful thing, and it means a lot! I mean that...

Michelle: You are a kind sweetheart! I stole the word bloggerista from something I read, and you can steal what you want from me, when you want it - I trust you implicitly! I cannot believe I can inspire anything in others, especially when I look at all you achieve - Your brave and charitable running is just one element of that, Mich! You are a star!

French Fancy: Bless you! You are not a know-all in any sense of the word, FF, and I do find hope when people like you tell me you have been through something very similar and have recovered very well - Such goodness is helping to erase bits of my irrational fears, to be honest! Such an experience does put other things into perspective - You are so right - My medic cousin said exactly the same thing, and I understand more about how we have sometimes to live through pretty acute things, in order to appreciate just what we have in the everyday and the mundane. I merely look up to more experienced, wonderful bloggers such as you and so many of my friends here, thank you! xxx

Moannie: Glad you are enjoying the journey, dear friend! Like mother, like daughter, non? Have you seen Saz's comments above - You two are just amazing, and so strong! I need to be more like you! xx

Diane said...

How bizarre! I can't find the place where today's post ends and yesterday's begins!

Thank you so much for the Adversity award... I do feel I've earned that one! ;)

Love the photo of the rose-heart... LOVELY!!!

Happy V-day to you, too!! XOXO

auntiegwen said...

I can't find the gap between yesterday's and todays either ! I do hope you get some relief from your pain, my heart goes out to you xxx

Many thanks for the award, as always it goes in my wee cyberdrawer of nice things xxx

And thanks for the advice, I know I should be cutting the contact as sadly, now there is more bad than good and the potential is eroding but I am finding it difficult to let go x

adlibby said...

Wow! I am so sincerely sorry for your pain and wish you well with the op. I am in awe of your genius and generosity in blogland. And I think you kindly for lifting the blogxiety which has been plaguing me of late! I may take your suggestion and mine the photobucket for a gem or two. Best wishes!

jeannette stgermain said...

Keep scrolling and scrolling - did I miss the end of your Valentine's article? What I would like to say it I have a little different take on Valentine - as an artist I'm expected to :) - thansk for all the historic info. though! glad i found you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Fhina I am back again to accept that pretty pink heart award with gratitude for the sentiment attached to it. Afraid I have a couple of others stacking up in my picture file until such times as Saz can remind me [once again] how to attach them to my page.

I would have put this under the Valentine post but for some reason had to keep scrolling down.

Jeanne said...

Thanks for coming to visit -- and Happy Valentine's Day!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Desiree Grosse said...

...delightful...I now must try my tears of laughter.

Something I wrote earlier...

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