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Friday, 1 January 2010

Are we back to normal yet - Part Deux!


At a time when other bloggers appear to be doing a review of their year, I've sat and pondered...

You see, this is what led me to call myself, 'A Woman Of No Importance' in the first place. I don't lead that interesting a life. Of course, there are moments of Fhina-madness and revelry, music, wine, men and song. I laugh a lot. I find other people look at me a lot when I'm laughing... Particularly in the street. I find humour in most things. You'd have to, living with ma famille!

I am a bit manic, a little highly strung, they used to call it. Neurotic. Apparently, according to some recent research bloggers, especially women bloggers, are more neurotic than other people.

“People who are high in openness to new experience and high in neurotics are likely to be bloggers. Additionally … women who are high in neuroticism are more likely to be bloggers as compared to those low in neuroticism whereas there was no difference for men.” SOURCE

How can they tell that from our blogs, I ask you?

Fair enough, I seem to spend more time looking for my keys than finding them and I do worry about endless and trivial stuff. But then GJ is far worse than I in this respect. Actually, he once confessed that he only married in order to be able to sleep without keeping the landing light on! He suffers from night terrors. Far fewer than he used to, admittedly, but for a time there I did sleep with the kitchen knife under my mattress...

There was a bit of a discussion in the comments section the other day, when I asked "Are we back to normal yet?", after Christmas. There might have been an assumption that I could define and understand just what 'normal' is or does...

I can define those among my friends and colleagues that 'mainstream', those that choose to 'fit in', who pigeon-hole themselves and who stay well within their comfort zones in life, never straying far from the path of what is expected of them. They don't 'live it large'. I'm just not one of those people.

And as I grow older, I'm even less inclined to choose to conform. My late Mutti, quite a brave public bus driver, was a great one for saying something along the lines of, 'Take me as I am, or get stuffed!, but I know she also struggled with that mantra.

My cracked sister, Wiki, took out her psychiatrist's pad the other day as I lay down upon her red velvet chaise-longue, and she told me about the effects of neurosis, which may be:

...anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, etc., behavioral symptoms such as phobias, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, cognitive problems such as unpleasant thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism. Interpersonally, neurosis involves dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism, socio-culturally inappropriate behaviors, hypochondria, etc..."

Oo-er. I have more than a 'grain de folie' it appears. And yet, when I read a definition of "What is good mental health", I wonder...

"Being mentally healthy doesn’t just mean that you don’t have a mental health problem.

If you’re in good mental health, you can:

  • make the most of your potential

  • cope with life

  • play a full part in your family, workplace, community and among friends

Some people call mental health ‘emotional health’ or ‘wellbeing’ and it’s just as important as good physical health. We all have times when we feel down or stressed or frightened. Most of the time those feelings pass. But sometimes they develop into a more serious problem and that could happen to any one of us.

Everyone is different. You may bounce back from a setback while someone else may feel weighed down by it for a long time. Your mental health doesn’t always stay the same. It can change as circumstances change and as you move through different stages of your life.

There’s a stigma attached to mental health problems. This means that people feel uncomfortable about them and don’t talk about them much. Many people don’t even feel comfortable talking about their feelings. But it’s healthy to know and say how you’re feeling". SOURCE

So it's safe to share our feelings as we blog, mes bloggy Jungians... And to be reassured that it's okay to be a little quirky, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes raving.

Good mental health is defined as, having, "
  • the ability to learn
  • the ability to feel, express and manage a range of positive and negative emotions
  • the ability to form and maintain good relationships with others
  • the ability to cope with and manage change and uncertainty
And apparently it is possible to help keep yourself in good mental health by:
  • talking about your feelings, keeping active, eating well, drinking sensibly, keeping in touch with friends and loved ones, asking for help when you need it, taking a break, doing something you’re good at and enjoy, accepting who you are, and caring for others.
I think we're covered for much of this in Blogworld. Don't take good mental health for granted, mes bloggy Buds. Look after yourselves, and others, in 2010.

Here endeth the sermon from the Fhina-Sofa-Soapbox.

Mwah! Don't run away, I'm after wishing you a Happy New Year with the traditional kiss... Mwah! What do you mean, you're allergic to Mistletoe??!

sermon Pictures, Images and Photos


Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Oh my fhina!!! You have got your new years verbal quests sorted...Chapeau bas my dear!!

What a post LOL sermon, you got quite deep into this one and l'm afraid it has jogged me out of my new years day stuppor!! I must go shower now l am awake for good...

time to get serious with the blog posts methinks!!!

thank for that..

Anonymous said...

Maybe anyone who thinks they aren't a little neurotic, is mistaken!

slommler said...

Ahh! Well said Fhina...well said! And what really is "normal" after all? I say there is no such thing...we are all a little off-base; a little cracked; a little neurotic!! I am just saying.....!
Now I am off to start the pork and sauerkraut!! Yum!!
Happy New Year
I plan on staying a little off center

ALeks said...

Maybe if yu use www.flickr.com will be better?!
Happy New Year dear,much love and light,cheers!
Aleksandra :O)

Brighton Mum-Teenage Angst said...

After reading this, I think I may just stick to healthy and mental(!). I ticked a few of those boxes. Yikes! An interesting read, thanks. Happy New Year!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

babe just use google images and copy and paste...its all compatible, and so easy....

wondered what had gone wrong thought it my laptop!!

love you!!

sa z x

Molly Potter said...

You lovely dollop of pure loveliness.
Keep you just as you are.

I suspect I have a just managaeable quota of neuroticiam and my openness is off the scale.

It's taken years to revell in being a social misfit but I love it now.

A person once called me 'against the grain' - they meant it as an insult, I took it as a compliment.

Let's inhabit our own side of 'sane' whatever that is and carry on wandering through blogsville.

P.S I've had a sherry...am I making sense?

Boomer Pie said...

For good mental health, drink a margarita every day at 5 pm.
I signed up as a follower. Perhaps you'll drop by my place and do the same. Or just have a margarita.

Rochelle said...

Good point -- Here's to being our wonderfully neurotic selves in 2010!

PS I like you new blog background also! :)

Ribbon said...

i still find it difficult to think of you as a woman of no importance and i would like it if you also found it difficult to think of yourself in that way ;)

i'm sorry but i have no info in regards to the photo pinching thingamejig :(

i wanna wish you the best of the best for this new year and i love it that you are laughing your way through life :)

x Ribbon

LadyFi said...

Lovely post! And hear hear - what a boring place the world would be if we all tried to conform!

I raise my glass to all of us who are round pegs refusing to fit into those square holes!

French Fancy said...

This seems to be your most serious post to date, Fhina, wrapped up in your usual eloquent metaphorical use of language.

Are any of us normal? I dunno

As for posting pics - I just right click on each image I want to post, save it to my desktop and then upload on the New Post section. I'm sure you don't need Photobucket.

Here's to another blogging year, my sweet


carma said...

I'd better not divulge this research to my family (about neurotic women bloggers) - because it will only provide more fuel for the fire about some of my neurotic tendencies!!!

I've never really "fit in" yet I'm happy to say that as I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate more that being abnormal is a lot more interesting than being normal *yawn*

Thank you for your New Year's message. Hoping 2010 is all that you wish for - and more - from one neurotic blogger - to another :D

Something I wrote earlier...

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