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Monday, 20 June 2011

We live in complex and challenging times...

Well, it's Monday again and the start of a new working week.

Well, at least part of a working week for me.

I have an induction session today for my new job helping people to marry the loves of their lives...  

Well, hopefully they'll be the loves of each other's lives!

I'm not sure what the week will bring.   Are we ever?   But I'm okay with that.

I think...

What I've become more aware of recently during therapy, (which is a compulsory part of my training course to become a counsellor), is that now I've found a little job and got over that great big 'hump' I slumped through after losing my job at the whim of Government, as it were, it's probably time for me to actually deal with the sense of loss and my attachment to my last two jobs.

...And I really know that this means I am going to have to re-visit the loss and grief involved with both my parents' deaths and some of the resulting turmoil that ensued in my life.

...And this week, in our community which mainly gathers in the local basic pub, which also serves as Village Hall, Sports and Social Club and second home for many, a strong and vibrant man - a farmer long of this area, and five years younger than me, has been lost after a long battle with leukaemia...

I had thought he was in remission, not close to the end of his days - He was a strong man, lambing his flock at the end - We saw him with his new wife and an old friend the Sunday before he died - It had been a cold rainy day after a few days' of sunshine and the atmosphere in the pub was also grey.   It was odd, but my husband and I blamed it on the weather... 

Now, I am not so sure.   On Tuesday, he died of pneumonia, refusing to have his last jabs.

I am grieving for the loss of him, his presence in our community, and his vibrancy and strength;  I feel for his just-adult sons who have lost their rock and anchor;   He only got married a few weeks ago, and I know his new wife's loss is great and they had known one another since their schooldays; and I also feel the sadness of  the mother of his children too...

Such times put into perspective our comparatively smaller losses in life, do they not?

Grief is an incredibly complicated thingie, I believe.

So is joy...

I wish you great joy.

5 comments:

Expat mum said...

My sister (the one I tell you about who is branching out with her psychotherapy practice) and her family have had an eye-opening time this week. Bro-in-law taken into the RVI with appendicitis but it exploded and sent toxins everywhere and perforated his bowel. Stupid doctor told him they'd nearly lost him on the table (why tell him that if not to make yourself look like a hero) and now they're all grappling with what could have been.
Live each day....

Gigi said...

Yes, it's things like this that remind me (over and over) that my "problems" are piddling ones compared to what others are facing.

libby said...

Enjoy every day...try to take the best out of every moment....and good luck with your new job!

slommler said...

I just lost a vibrant friend to leukemia as well recently. I still miss him. He had been married less than two years. Tragic for his new wife. She is still reeling from the loss and the ensuing paper work!
Grief is truly complicated and will have it's way with you eventually!
Sigh!
Hugging you
SueAnn

thepowmill said...

Being with people-connected to them-always brings great joy and sadness. Both make relationships complete in my experience . Nothing I would change . Just hope that I can make through with relationships intact and fuller . Lovely post .

Something I wrote earlier...

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