Before that, I was on a bit of a high, given that I heard I'd been made reserve candidate in the second job I'd gone for - It did wonders for my self-esteem that I had come second in a job that I felt I'd love. There's a six month probation period for the successful candidate, so if it doesn't work out for her then the job may still be mine. I took some comfort in that, after so many months of applying for jobs and not hearing nottin'.
Latterly, we held a little informal ceremony for the infirm ratty I mentioned in my last post who sadly passed last weekend. He joined his brother in the front garden, carried in a linen shift, and I picked a few blackberries and a small apple from the tree to help him on his way, this next stage of his journey, little sweet, cheeky thing that he was.
The weather meantime has been intermittently sodden in Northumberland, with rivers flowing full to bursting, and autumnal bright. On two evenings the mist has rolled into the valley, swathing fields and trees in white gauze, bringing a fresh dampness with it and a gleaming crescent moon.
I'm trying to notice things more. To be mindful. I advocate that my anxious clients connect to their mindfulness, seeing beauty where they might otherwise have rushed through, overwhelmed with thoughts and deeds. A red leaf, tinged with gold. The tricolours showing on a green bush. The white hindquarters of a flitting deer, vanishing into the hedgerow in front of my car.
I strive for my clients to connect more closely with themselves, to be more real. And so I felt it was time enough for me to begin to practice what I so dearly preach.
Of course, with the shoe on the other foot, I noticed two toddlers travelling in a double decker buggy passing by me in the crowded city streets just the other day, as I sat down in the sunshine to eat a hummus and falafel wrap on a bench that's also a work of urban art, with words by Julia Darling, late of Newcastle, whose grave I mentioned recently... I didn't know that until I just googled the bench - I shall try to be more watchful in future...
I was thinking how lovely they looked, the babies - How interested in the life that they were passing through, and then I noticed the set and grim criminal features of the mum and dad pushing the buggy. The image that came to me was that these boys would be likely to grow up to be the next Kray Twins. Nature versus nurture in action. I felt the chill of the day through the sunshine and thought about how judgemental I can be.
...And mental too!
I have been listening to this, this sunny but cold Sunday, while my neighbour hammers wood into the ground somewhere on his property, like a demon - Oh, I can feel it in my bones... And Alfie's voice is like balm to my troubled soul. I adore this song.
Be mindful, peeps!
Beautiful photography of Northumberland by Andrew S. Gray.com - PLEASE CLICK ON LINK TO GO TO HIS SITE