Musings on a Crystal Ball..

I haven't forgotten you.

I've not gone away.

I've been dealing with some stuff. The waves that threaten to rock the boat. I've been in the grip of some squid-like tentacles of anxiousness...

This is my son's last year in school. He's finding it difficult to stick to his plans. Note, his plans, not ours... We're not pushy parents.

We try to support as best we can, but he is eighteen and no longer a child. My man-child.

And we know it's really hard, that you feel as if you can't go on. But sometimes going on is all we can do. The equilibrium tips. The seas roughen and then calm once more.

How do we explain that this too will pass... That even if he fails, it isn't the end. There are always options in life, n'est-ce pas?!

It's all too much at a young age... I even resorted to telling him the story of my second year in College, where I had a mini nervous breakdown in a German oral exam, when I found after eight years of learning I could no longer speak the language.

It was alien to me...

I shifted my plans; I dropped German then, to concentrate instead on English Literature and French. My life did not end, although it felt as if it might at the time...

Grizz found on Friday that he could no longer play the drums. He's been quite a performer since he was eleven... Performance anxiety gripped him during preparation running up to his exam day, It gripped us too, for the day, the week, this month.

...And this on top of the other wobbles of my life that you already know about, mes petits pois, which rumble on regardless, together with the fact that I've also had my own preparation for an end of year performance review with a new boss that I was uncertain of, to be honest...

And the fact that all of the political parties, one of which I will vote for next week, plan to decimate the hard-working public sector so that they may pay off our country's debts - To war, to oil and to the rich, the bankers...

So that's ok then...

Why need I to worry?

...And so we go on... We get by. We recover. We get a grip. We move on. The future we feared is already upon us, and it's all right. It's okay.

Bear with me, mes bloggas de vidas....

So what's next?

ArT bY ANn-JuliE AubReY onCE AgAin... GlorIOuS...

Dreams...

Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well, who am I to keep you down?
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it

But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering
What you had
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost

Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing...
Say, women...they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know
You'll know...

Now here I go again, I see, the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It's only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and...
Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness...
Like a heartbeat drives you mad...
In the stillness of remembering
What you had
And what you lost...
What you had...
Ooh, what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Women, they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean, you'll know



What were your dreams when you were small?

Which of them have you accomplished, mes bloggy lace pillow-slips?!

What's stopping you now, my bloggy love-hearts?

...Not love... That's for certain. I love you nonetheless, mes choufleurs - Mwah!

Two Fortune Cookies for the Price of One!

Ah, and so you're back... From Outer Space... I just walked in to find you here, with that sad look upon your face...

Et alors, mes petits Fortune Cookies, where were we, when we were so rudely interrupted by that power outage?

What do you mean, with all this paraphernalia I should have seen it coming??! You cheeky monkeys! ...I saw none of my darker experiences in the future I once had in mind for me...

How can we? If I had seen the visions, had it played out in front of me like the last reel in an old-time picture show, would I have walked down a different curved stone path to the cottage to hide out of the way of any of them?

Possibly...



And maybe not after all...

And, as I wibbled on about yesterday, I want to ask you something... but you don't need to comment or tell me the answer. I'd just like you to mull on it, my little Ossenpfeffers...
I'm setting some homework, if you like.

Well, it's been a while since you had any assignments, and I'm not just here for the good of my health, you know! ...Well, I am actually - for you all do me good, really you do. And, on that lovefest, voici la grande question I promised I would put to you yesterday:

When you were growing up, when you were knee high to a grass-hopper, envisioning the future for yourself, playing those, now childish, games that we play -- Truth or Dare, Counting the Prune-Stones and calling out 'Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy...' to predict where we might end up.



- What did you see in your future? And what made you veer from that path you commenced on?

Was it a sixth sense, some chicken bones, or just good old common sense kicking in, that made you conjure a different future for yourself?

And please try to focus more on those tough decisions which have brought you to more positive outcomes for your life, on the path that you have chosen? The things which have made you into the warm, witty, wonder that you are...

Spookily, blognut was talking about this only yesterday... ...Cue Twilight Zone intro music, Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo... In a writing prompt, she focused on what might you go back to childhood for and how might it have changed in your life. Here is the writing prompt question:

You can go back to your childhood for one day. What day and age do you choose?

I'll leave you to explore blognut's very wise conclusion on that question on your own two feet mes choux... Bloggus Nuttus's blog is always a great space to spend some time in - Thought-provoking questions, life-stories, dilemmas, tales, and lots of tinkling laughter shared among good friends.



There you are... Now, that wasn't so bad after all, was it? What did you expect when you came in to see me here in my Fortune Telling Booth at the wrong end of Foney-Fhi Island?!

Just leave that grey silk curtain drawn back as you leave, will you?

Thanks ever so much... I'm expecting my twelve o'clock now, is all...

Byeee, dahlink! See you again sometime, perhaps! I am certain our paths shall cross... After all, I've seen it in the tea-leaves.