I haven't forgotten you.
I've not gone away.
I've been dealing with some stuff. The waves that threaten to rock the boat. I've been in the grip of some squid-like tentacles of anxiousness...
This is my son's last year in school. He's finding it difficult to stick to his plans. Note, his plans, not ours... We're not pushy parents.
We try to support as best we can, but he is eighteen and no longer a child. My man-child.
And we know it's really hard, that you feel as if you can't go on. But sometimes going on is all we can do. The equilibrium tips. The seas roughen and then calm once more.
How do we explain that this too will pass... That even if he fails, it isn't the end. There are always options in life, n'est-ce pas?!
It's all too much at a young age... I even resorted to telling him the story of my second year in College, where I had a mini nervous breakdown in a German oral exam, when I found after eight years of learning I could no longer speak the language.
It was alien to me...
I shifted my plans; I dropped German then, to concentrate instead on English Literature and French. My life did not end, although it felt as if it might at the time...
Grizz found on Friday that he could no longer play the drums. He's been quite a performer since he was eleven... Performance anxiety gripped him during preparation running up to his exam day, It gripped us too, for the day, the week, this month.
...And this on top of the other wobbles of my life that you already know about, mes petits pois, which rumble on regardless, together with the fact that I've also had my own preparation for an end of year performance review with a new boss that I was uncertain of, to be honest...
And the fact that all of the political parties, one of which I will vote for next week, plan to decimate the hard-working public sector so that they may pay off our country's debts - To war, to oil and to the rich, the bankers...
So that's ok then...
Why need I to worry?
...And so we go on... We get by. We recover. We get a grip. We move on. The future we feared is already upon us, and it's all right. It's okay.
Bear with me, mes bloggas de vidas....
So what's next?
ArT bY ANn-JuliE AubReY onCE AgAin... GlorIOuS...
