Now with added rats!

Admit it, I've sold you on them.   The rats, of course...

But not their tails, or perhaps tales!

The lovely Lisa B's photos do the rat-baby-beasts more justice, it has to be said.   Many of the photos that my hubby, GJ, has taken of them show only a blur, as they dash off in full motion to do something far more interesting.

This one, Dobbie, is the worst culprit.   In a blink of an eye, while you're distracted by filling a water bottle he's off.   He jumps silently off the sofa, scuttles off under the Belgian dresser and he's off and away!   Without even a cry of 'High-ho, Silver' to draw attention to his escape...

This is him in a rare moment of repose, being grizzled by me on the sofa and squeaking in a diva-like fashion, "I'm ready for me close-up now, Mr De Mille!"

This week, the babies (I know, I'm totally lost, given that I've taken to calling them 'babies!') have been subjected to some dark glances from friends and visitors.   If looks could kill, I ask you! 

...Bizarrely, two of our acquaintances have experienced frightening vehicle break-downs involving 1) a new car and 2) a decrepit camper-van.

Both incidents involved destruction of the rubber tubing carrying diesel to the vehicles.   Apparently, rats had chosen to gnaw through the pipes, rendering both vehicles immobile.   The damage was extensive.   There was no CCTV footage of the alleged offenders and no eye-witnesses so, under the circumstances, I am 'holding my powder' as they say.   However, both events had devastating consequences and brought considerable expense to the parties involved...   In the case of the camper-van, half a Mars bar had also been scoffed and also some of the bedding and interior decor of the van had been 'tasted'.

Oops!

"It wasn't me", the rat-babies squeak in all innocence and surprisingly in unison.   "Not our type at all.   Not us 'fancy rats'.   No..."

Would you believe them?!

The truth lies in those little beady eyes, methinks.

Rats!

If ever a post was titled in such a way as to put off the majority of my readers, it would be this one - "Rats!"

Come on, I've been teasing you for weeks with "Now with added rats!" to draw you in in your hundreds...

Watches as numbers of followers flow away like water in a fall!

It all began with a text sent to us by our son, Grizzles, while we were away from home in the Canaries.

"Lisa isn't allowed to have her rats in her new flat.   There's a clause in the student rental agreement that says you can only have guide dogs."

GJ, my husband, mused that maybe they could get little white canes for the rats, dark glasses, that kind of thing...

"I've already thought of that", plied Grizz.   "I doubt it'll work for long".  

He paused, "I think Mum really needs the company!"

Imagine my reply.   "I?    I need the company?"

My voice rose an octave.   "...of rats??!!!"

 

Hysteria was beginning to set in.

Of course, how would we be expected to respond?   We were trapped in a rat-trap.   These rats came third hand to lovely Lisa.   They were relatively elderly.   Who else could have them.   Her parents are already taking care of her childhood cat and rabbit.   The tortie cat, Sox, shows an inordinate interest in the large cage in Lisa's bedroom, which contains three furry play-pals...   The sweet black and white rabbit, Clive, couldn't give a carrot!

Days later, I watched, half in fear half in anticipation when the cardboard box on the sofa moved.   I could hear sniffering and snorting inside, as Grizzles assembled the large cage in a corner of my living room.

Previously, I've been a totally rodent-free zone where pets are concerned.   I could never imagine keeping and handling rodents - Guinea-pigs, hamsters, gerbils...

Nope, not me!

Grizzles ran me through their requirements as they settled in to their new HQ, handing this ardent vegetarian a tub of dried mealworms.   I shrieked.   I just couldn't see it.   Me, passing tiny dried worms through the bars of the cage to hungry mouths.

And yet, in no time at all, these three furry-faced creatures have wormed their way into our hearts.

Lisa's home at Christmas again.   Our care-taking stint will be temporarily over.  Dumbledore, Dobbie and Big Peeves will go home with Lisa.

I think we'll miss them when they're gone!

All photos courtesy of the Lovely Lisa B...

Words in the Key of Life...

I love words.   They can bring me such joy.   And sometimes frustration, it is true, as I struggle for le mot juste for my blog-writing, to be fair...

I've mentioned here before that I use StatCounter to check (occasionally, I'm not obsessed!) the numbers coming to the Crawford Mansions door here at A Woman Of No Importance, and to see what sort of idiots loons lovely people my words attract.

One of the many pleasures of StatCounter is, de temps on temps, having a gawp at the key words people coming to my Blog have tippy-tappied out upon their keyboards...

Here are this week's treasures for your delight and delectation:

'Sad beetroot' - Amusing, but true!   What possesses people, I must ask?   How would you ever know if a beetroot was sad?   I hope I offended none recently when I explained how I detest them!


To continue,

'Hair shirt' - I have one, but only wear it for special occasions - GJ's Fiftieth Birthday coming in January springs to mind.   I shall be beside myself planning that party, just you wait and see!   Sackcloth optional.


'Bison head' - Moi?   It's a while since I posted a head-shot to be sure, but I'm certain I wasn't looking much like a bison.    A moose, perhaps...


'Gypsy curtains' - Kelly Hoppen will be signing me up soon, I'm sure, for her next instalment of 'Interiors' on Channel 4!   I have a gypsy chandelier waiting to be installed in my boudoir, but no curtains.   (I have no shame!)

'Cadbury's chocolate fingers' - Wha'?   They've uncovered my favourite stash already - Who gave me away - Was it Grizz?!

'Paul Merton laughing...'   No comment necessary.

'Tommy Cooper half chicken' - I dread to think.   Was this a trick he used to perform on stage, or is someone wondering about some bizarre 'The Fly' kind of experiment??!


'English eccentrics' - There's many a true word spoken in jest.   I resemble those key words!

'box of frogs' - Oh yes, now I get it "Fhina is as mad as a box of frogs" - Is that it?!   Someone I really respect once described a dear colleague as "As mad as a ship's cat!" - When he said that, I just knew that he's probably used those same words to describe me.   It made me laugh.   He's still a friend that I respect.

'NO MATTER WHY IT HURT DOG MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER' - Yes, yes, they do.   Now why are you shouting?

These days, I am finding that playing with the clever and funny little fancy rats of an evening is making me feel better, so joy doesn't only come from dogs, to be truthful.

And I never believed I would be saying that, mes amis - Never!   I didn't even think I'd be able to handle the little beasties, but it's amazing what the humble human being is capable of, n'est-ce pas?

Mind you, I probably smell of rats' pee these days, too. 

Tant pis, as they say in France.

Mwah!   Gotcha, there on the cheek when you weren't looking!

p.s. I'm going nowhere - I get too much out of blogging as it is - Thanks to those of you who were concerned about my musings on whither Blogworld.   I love you too much!

Picture:   British comedian and film buff, Paul Merton, not laughing...

Welcome To My World...

Welcome to my two new followers, and those of you who have chosen to come and read my words and share parts of my journey with me.

I sense that in Blogland things have gone a little quiet recently.    I noticed some time ago that some of my favourite bloggers, who became firm friends, left the Blogosphere altogether and we communicate now on FaceSlapBook instead.

What is to become of us in the outer reaches of Blogworld?   Will we wither on the vine or, cut back against the coming of winter, will we all bloom once more in spring?

I know not.   I am no sage or oracle.

More's the pity!

I tend to use my blog as therapy these days.   Perhaps I have always done so.   Without blogging would I have ever selected therapy as my next career step?   Blogging for most of us seems to be an outlet for venting our spleen, for exploring our sense of humour, for sharing things of beauty in our lives - whether pictures of our children, grandkids, pets, our passion for knitting, our love of all things vintage, our hints and money-saving tips, or just our divine common sense.  

Blogging has its place in our universe.   Whether we're hoping for a book-deal (unlikely these days!), ou non...

Without reading your blogs I would not be as erudite (blows on fingernails and rubs them across shiny blouse!), as learned, or quite as humble.

Blogging is not without its irritations.   I balk at the relentlessly self-obsessed writers, who rant and rail against stuff that I can't be arsed to get arsed about, like plagiarism, for example.   ...I want to say 'Get a grip!   Don't take yourself so seriously.   Life's too short, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery - I think someone big once said that.'


But, I also want to live and let live.   I think that's important.   I'm fed up of others wanting to dictate how we need to live our lives, who strive endlessly (and hopelessly, in my humble opinion) for perfectionism and want us all to fit into their restrictive, but perfect, pigeon-holes.  

One of my relatively peaceful neighbours in my rural terrace is being harassed by another neighbour who wants to complain about his log-pile and how untidy it is.   I'm just waiting for them to complain about our new house-mates, three fancy rats that we're temporarily care-taking for our sweet son's lovely girlfriend.


On reflection - without writing my blog I might not be as self-aware - or quite as sane.   (Believe it or not!)

Thank you for sticking around.   Thank you for your writing, those of you who write.   A big thank you to those who comment in Blogworld.   I may read widely, but I don't always have time to comment - My hubby, GJ, does complain about my capacity to endlessly tippy-tappy against the key-board.

Nuff said for one day.

More soon.   Now with added rats!