Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Something to tickle your humerus - The funnybone - Blondes' Medical Dictionary...
Doctor Fhina is in!
Here is her copy of the Blonde's Medical Terminology...
She picked this up aeons ago, don't ask her where please, she won't know...
Long nets of white cloud Fhina's memory, at the best of times, and the worst of times! She hasn't found the tablets yet to freshen the memory, but she's going to try a lot of them until she finds the right ones... In the meantime, this blog shall be Fhina's momento mori...
You're laughing again... I'll be over there shortly to rap your knuckles with my long wooden ruler... What do you mean, it's not allowed?! *Ahem!*
THE BLONDE'S MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY...
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhoea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane (like the one Fhina's going to use to rap on some desks later! Just you mind!)
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favouring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf (I'll have to ask Grizz about that -- Did you know that one of Fhina's most recent wobbles was finding out that Grizz had taken to the evil weed?! I think he's stopped now... At least that's what he's telling me... So on to something apt):
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein - Conceited
Ca va, (is that okay/how are you), mes bloggy space-bars!
What did you think?
Did you smile, laugh, grinch at Fhina's poking fun at blondes... It's all right, mes loves, for I iz one, after all, apres tout, after all!