Doctor Fhina is in!
Here is her copy of the Blonde's Medical Terminology...
She picked this up aeons ago, don't ask her where please, she won't know...
Long nets of white cloud Fhina's memory, at the best of times, and the worst of times! She hasn't found the tablets yet to freshen the memory, but she's going to try a lot of them until she finds the right ones... In the meantime, this blog shall be Fhina's momento mori...
You're laughing again... I'll be over there shortly to rap your knuckles with my long wooden ruler... What do you mean, it's not allowed?! *Ahem!*
THE BLONDE'S MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY...
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhoea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane (like the one Fhina's going to use to rap on some desks later! Just you mind!)
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favouring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf (I'll have to ask Grizz about that -- Did you know that one of Fhina's most recent wobbles was finding out that Grizz had taken to the evil weed?! I think he's stopped now... At least that's what he's telling me... So on to something apt):
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein - Conceited
Ca va, (is that okay/how are you), mes bloggy space-bars!
What did you think?
Did you smile, laugh, grinch at Fhina's poking fun at blondes... It's all right, mes loves, for I iz one, after all, apres tout, after all!
21 comments:
That seems a particularly apt post for today. I heard on the news this morning, Channel 4 will be televising (live) an operation on sombody's brain this evening at 10.30pm. The patient will remain awake...Thank you for a run down on possible phraseology that may be in use!
Laughing !!!
Very cute, Fhina!
You're not quite as 'blonde' as all of this, are you?
Love to you, Lady!
Bloggus
XXOOXX
You are a one, Fhina! A blonde one that is!
I never node all those things! Were you making them a secretion all that time???
Hehe, it is a good thing I am not a "blonde"!;))
I used to be blonde... then I wasn't... now I am again ;)
So very clever! Had me laughing this morning!
Rectum and Urine stuck out for me. Wonder why.
I loved congenital, fibula and node!
jinksy: That is horrific news, la Jinks! I do think that I will give that one a miss! x
david mcmahon: Welcome, kind Knight of Blogland!
blognut: Aw, Bloggus, I do do some really daft things occasionally, so being blonde it gives me something to blame, if you like... That, and I am a very gullible, easy to fool, kind of person - A wicked combination! Have a sweet week, I am sending you my love and my blessings, sisyphus xox
Derrick: Too true, too true, Derrick!
lizspin: Liz, you are a natural, my girl! Welcome to the Crawford Sanatorium! xox
Protege: Z, I know you are far too sensible to ever be considered blonde! xxx
Diane: I would be fascinated to know which state you preferred, D, and whether you felt people treated you differently depending on the colour of your hair? I must admit that you look like a real blonde to me, Madame, but I don't get the sense that you are 'blonde' (and foolish...) in the sense that I am xox
shabby girl: I am pleased, my sweet Shabstress! x
Fragrant Liar: :) x
Mad Aunt Bernard: What a name you have?! It's fabulous!
Oh thank you for explaining all that to me sweet fellow blondie. I did wonder what the doc meant when he said I was rheumatic, but then he was good looking. Do you see my eyelids a flutter...? xx
Urine! That was my favorite!!
Wait, ewww!!!
LOVE YOU!!! You funny!!!
hehehe
Re Jinksy's comment: why do they feel the need to show us how to remove an appendix or a brain (patient must be a non-blonde then)? Will there come a time we have to do it ourselves? In front of the mirror?
(and yes, I am a blonde too)
I am not blonde, nor is my husband but my youngest son is. He doesn't SEEM blonde though. Mm, maybe brunette blood is flowing through his blonde body???
I was in a crappy mood, and you made me smile. Thanks.
As a former natural blonde (ooh, those gray roots almost look blonde!) this recter.
I may play dumb blonde, but it's mostly the peroxide talking. I'm really a Mediterranean brunette...tee hee.
Fun post, but what's with Scarlett, already? :)
Ma chère FSI,
What a darling ditzy one you are, indeed. I shall call you Bouton d'Or from now on.
Your medical lexicon for blondes had me in stitches (pun intended).
Grosses bises.
I'm still holding on to my sides, or is it sudds?
Yeah that was fine but there's an undressed blonde on your page...wtf?
x
not sure how l missed this!! but it sure is blonde!!
great laugh!
Saz x
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